If you were to say this to a child with mental health problems, you’d just reinforce a sense of aloneness, of being abandoned and being at fault. In theory, young people come to experience trust, safety, enjoyment, delight and commitment through their parents as people they feel safe with. But for children who come into care, these essential childhood norms are typically damaged. Children in these circumstances will find ways to protect themselves from the threats that family life produce. They can find it very difficult to then trust other adults. Who do you turn to when you are worried about what your parents are doing or not doing? How do you feel safe enough to make friends in nursery when you don’t know who is going to be there when you get home?
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