As a father, one of the most important things you can do for your child is to provide them with the best start in life and do whatever it is you can to ensure they are successful in their adult life. How a child starts out greatly affects their quality of life they will enjoy and their chances for success in later life.
1. Spend quality time together
One of the best gifts you can give to your child is the gift of your time. By this, I do not simply mean spending the day or large amount of your time with them, but engaging with your child with a focus on doing specific things together. Some of these things could be initiated by your child, such as looking for small crawling bugs, working with playdough or reading a book. The important thing is that you do it together at the child's pace and you are both having fun.
2. Teach your child life skills
As a father, you are in the best position to teach your child skills that will help them become strong, successful and unique individuals. You can start by passing down some of the life skills that you have learned and have made the most difference in your life.
Skills like reading, cooking or riding a bike are not only fun to teach to your child, but they also help build their confidence and self-esteem, and investing the time helps build your relationship with them.
3. Inspire a love for books and reading in them
The first two years of a child's life are important for developing an interest in reading and a love for books. Take your child to the children's section in the local library or bookshop and let them choose books they like. Read the book with them at bedtime. Little things like these go a long way to inspire a love for books in children.
4. Save and invest in your child's future
Few things are as satisfying as knowing that you are able to provide your child with something that helps them to start out in their grown-up life without being a burden to anyone. You don't have to be rich to do this. Saving a small amount regularly over a long period will help you achieve this. You will be amazed at how putting away as little as £5 a week for the next 18 years could affect the quality of life your child could have when they grow up.
5. Role-model positive behaviour
Children learn and develop their behaviour by observing adults around them. Whether it is eating, playing or sharing, babies and young children are able to mirror a parent's or carer's behaviour. From when he was 20 months old, my son would join his mum and me in our bed in the early hours of the morning. A few times he would wake up to see me working on a laptop and would go to his room to get a book and come back to sit next to me and start reading - without saying a word.
6. Improve your parenting skills and knowledge
Some people believe that once they have a child, they will naturally adapt and develop the necessary skills to be a good parent. It doesn't always happen that way. Good parenting skills don't come naturally to everyone. I had to learn to be a dad and care for my son as a baby when his mum worked weekends. I have had to read books, do some research and attend workshops to improve my parenting skills and knowledge. The more parenting skills and knowledge you have as a dad, the more confident and informed you will be and the greater your child's chances for the best start in life.
7. Understand how and why they learn
It is important to know how and why your child learns, as this will help you fulfil a key role in their life as a teacher. Needless to say, parents are a child's most significant teacher and the home can be the best learning environment.
Every child learns through playing.While it is good to always play with your child, sometimes it is necessary to observe them while playing so you know their learning style. It is easier and more effective and takes less effort to teach your child when you know how they learn as an individual.
8. Get active with your child
A vital part of keeping healthy is staying active, young or old. In the UK, 25 per cent of boys and 33 per cent of girls aged between two and 19 years are overweight or obese.
The best way to get children active is to do things with them. Make the most of outdoor spaces with your child and go for daily walks, bike riding, football and swimming. You both will have fun, stay healthy and improve your immune system at the same time.
- Edited extract from 'Dads Really Matter: a brief guide for fathers and those who work with them', by Daniel Ayeni, produced by Manor Park Children's Centre. Daniel runs Men Behaving Dadly sessions at the centre in south-west London. Contact manorparkcc@suttonlea.org.
