A wide range of books, a water beaker, a cuddly rabbit, an empty tub with a lid, an umbrella and a toy digger. This is the strange assortment of objects that I recall my recently turned three-year-old taking in to nursery over the past few months. It’s not every day that she wants to take something in, but she goes through phases and I didn’t realise that she was going against nursery rules.
The toy rabbit accompanied her to nursery because she wanted to show her friend that she had one too – so presumably he is also guilty of contravening the no personal items policy. She loves books and often wants to show the staff at nursery what she’s been enjoying at home. As for the empty tub and water beaker, they were grabbed before leaving the house. With the umbrella – she likes to be prepared.
I have dissuaded her from taking in some objects mainly for practical reasons – the dog door stopper would be too heavy to carry on the bus – or if they are expensive, have lots of little bits, or belong to her sister. Also, I do stress to her that if she is taking something to nursery then she has to share it and it may get damaged. We have a chewed rabbit jigsaw piece as proof of this, from when her big sister took it to the childminder’s many years ago, and a fluffy cat that will forever be tinged green after its foray on the nursery painting table.
RISKY AND DANGEROUS?
I hadn’t thought much about her taking things with her to nursery until a friend mentioned that her daughter’s nursery did not allow children to bring in toys from home. When she questioned the policy she was told that the items would not have been risk assessed by nursery staff so may be dangerous. Also, they can cause problems with sharing and lead to conflict. When I looked up our nursery policy I read that children should be discouraged from bringing items/toys/playthings from home to ‘prevent causing negative behaviour’. However, they are welcome to take in a blanket or comforter.
My daughter does not have a special comforter, but I’d argue that these seemingly random objects that she has taken to nursery act as an important comfort to her. Overall she is very happy at nursery and well settled, having attended for two years, but sometimes she needs to have the security of taking in an object from home. It’s her way of bridging the gap between home and nursery and gaining some continuity. I think she often forgets about the item once she’s settled into the fun of the nursery day.
I applaud the nursery staff for not making a big issue out of her taking things in. I believe that they have cleverly used discretion and judgment.
RANDOM OBJECTS
Her key person will often comment on what she’s brought and encourage her to show it to other children. The many books she’s taken to nursery are put in her named tray with the promise of being read later – and she often reports that they have been. Toys and random objects have always been safely on a shelf when I’ve returned to collect her.
I’m very grateful because they acknowledge that the items are precious to her. Wrenching them from her or barring them from the setting would be confusing and upsetting. I’m also personally thankful because after going through the rigmarole of getting two children dressed and fed against the pressure of a ticking clock, I’d much rather allow a toy to leave the house with us than risk a tantrum that will lead to even more delay.
Something I couldn’t find reference to in the nursery policy document was the opposite issue – taking toys home from nursery. My daughter has started storing small nursery toys in her pockets.
A WORD OF ADVICE
There’s a fine line to be struck when judging if toys can be brought to nursery, says Jo Baranek, lead early years advisor, National Day Nurseries Association
Children bringing toys or other personal objects into nursery is a tricky one. NDNA doesn’t offer policy advice in this area; it really is down to the individual setting.
You might want to think about why the child wants to bring the item. Why are you saying no or yes?
There are benefits to bringing in things from home, especially for younger or newer children. A favourite teddy or blanket can help with the home-nursery transition.
Having a basket or box where children can keep some of their favourite things could be a good idea, for show-and-tell sessions, and as a startin g point for talking about our treasures and how we should share and look after them.
Parents should explain to children that if they bring something to nursery they need to be prepared to share it, just as the nursery resources are shared. If it is expensive or precious, it would be better kept at home, as things can go missing or get broken.
If it is a comforter, you might want to ease it away from the child once they are settled and reintroduce it if they are upset or for nap time.
Safety considerations
Your tolerance of what a child can bring to nursery might depend on what that item is. If a child wants to bring in a fancy singing Elsa doll that everyone will immediately want to play with, then no, absolutely not.
Likewise, you need to consider safety requirements. A baby’s amber teething beads would be a definite no as they could cause a serious choking hazard if broken.
My opinion is that pre-schoolers, unless they are very unsettled, shouldn’t need to bring anything at all and letting them do so won’t help with their transition to school where rules are stricter.
At the end of the day, you need parents to work with you. They should feel comfortable in asking you whether their child can bring something in, if they’re unsure.
