It is important that our interactions with children and families are the best they can be, as they are crucial in ensuring that positive experiences, both at home and at nursery, are enjoyed by everyone. Parents and practitioners share the same goal – a deep commitment to the support, love, care and education of the child – so working together to achieve this should come naturally.
Roberts (2010) refers to the significance of practitioners and young children being tuned into each other as relationships flourish and children’s emotional cues are acknowledged and responded to by their caregivers. The same can be achieved between practitioners and parents through a ‘triangle of trust’ (Goldschmied and Selleck 1996). When the key person’s relationship with the parent is as strong as it is with their child, a special connection is made that has long-lasting benefits for children and parents.
There are many aspects that contribute to positive and successful relationships, described by the ‘triangle of trust,’ which is a three-way communication process between the child (Ibrahim), parent (Saddam) and key person (David/Mr Yates). Ibrahim’s settling-in story at nursery explains some of the aspects of the ‘triangle of trust’, (shown in the diagram, right).
THE TRIANGLE OF TRUST
Ibrahim started nursery at the beginning of September. He had already visited with his dad, Saddam, in the summer term to meet his new friends and become familiar with the environment, while Saddam met with me. Saddam and I discussed the nursery ethos, Ibrahim’s likes and dislikes, answered each other’s questions and completed the admission forms. We had never met before, but a natural connection between the three of us was made through our conversation.
MAKING ESSENTIAL CONNECTIONS
Ibrahim initially found it hard to settle but gravitated towards me, staying close, holding my hand, accepting reassurance and affection while he explored the provision, so I became his key person. Saddam and I became ‘professional friends’, which reassured Ibrahim and helped him to settle.
Saddam said, ‘The start of the nursery was very challenging as Ibrahim didn’t enjoy it and kept refusing to go. Mr Yates, his teacher, understood this and was able to reassure him. Mr Yates built a strong relationship with Ibrahim from day one, and Ibrahim settled in quickly.’
Saddam noticed Ibrahim’s attachment and we discussed the significance of the key person role in ‘making essential connections’ with each child and ‘providing reassurance and creating close, supportive, ongoing relationships with families’ (Early Years Coalition 2021, DfE 2023a and 2023b).
Saddam explained that when he asked Ibrahim if he wanted to go to nursery, he replied, ‘No’, but when he asked him if he wanted to see Mr Yates, he enthusiastically said, ‘Yes.’ He explained in his message the simplicity, depth and security of the relationship between Ibrahim and his teacher: ‘Ibrahim enjoy a lot seeing his teacher opening the gate and hold his hand when getting into the nursery.’
HAPPY, SETTLED CHILDREN
As Ibrahim became more confident to explore the environment alongside me, I took photographs of his play and exploration at nursery and brought these together into short observations as part of his learning journey on his Development Map. The observations were shared with Saddam, through the home news feed, so that he and Ibrahim’s mum could see what he was busily involved in, maintaining a dialogue, supporting family wellbeing, and reassuring them that Ibrahim was settled and happy.
He said, ‘Thank you for the update. I am glad to see Ibrahim progressing well at the nursery.’
STRONG, MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
Saddam could see Ibrahim’s increasing confidence and excitement through his observations from nursery; while he was abroad in Saudi Arabia, he posted, ‘Thank you very much for all the update and pictures, and your kind messages informing us you missed Ibrahim. Trust me Ibrahim enjoy the nursery with ur presence.’
Saddam recognised the importance of receiving regular updates. He acknowledged the reciprocal and empowering nature of working together in partnership: ‘Almost every day we see Ibrahim’s progress through the Development Map website. We found it very useful to see the activities that Ibrahim performed at the nursery and seeing him happy, settled and making good progress at nursery.’
Saddam valued and enjoyed these everyday conversations and information-sharing. He explained to me how this helped to build a strong relationship between parents and the child’s teacher. This is important so that both teacher and parents can work together to bring good practice and support professionally the development of observation skills of the child.
Development Matters (DfE, 2021) highlights this as being fundamental to early years practice: ‘It is important for parents and early years settings to have a strong and respectful partnership. This sets the scene for children to thrive.’
RESPECT FOR FUNDS OF KNOWLEDGE AND CULTURAL CAPITAL
Central to the triangle of trust are genuine, meaningful, collaborative partnerships built on everyday, natural conversations about Ibrahim and his experiences. My partnership with Saddam and Ibrahim enabled me to develop my knowledge and use of Arabic in my conversations with them, while Ibrahim developed his understanding of English: ‘I see your Arabic language has improved. Well done Mr Yates – I think it’s important to keep in contact with the child. We are glad that you are Ibrahim’s teacher’.
Ibrahim’s talk was included in the observation-sharing, respecting his voice as an individual within the partnership triangle and acknowledging his interests and fascinations at nursery and home. Saddam’s response to Ibrahim’s first observation from nursery, during which he made pizza, was: ‘Ibrahim is so happy and excited to see his pics making pizza. Thanks Mr Yates for ur kindness and being so kind to Ibrahim’.
In my reply, I shared my thoughts about Ibrahim’s achievements, which Saddam shared with Ibrahim and replied on his behalf, saying: ‘Ibrahim just said Thank you Ustad [Arabic for teacher].’
CONFIDENT, EMPOWERED PARENTS
Ibrahim’s parents supported his curiosity at home and instinctively followed his interests. On a further occasion he decided he wanted to make a cake, which he was encouraged to do by his mum and dad. They shared photographs via the home news feed, which I quickly turned into a Learning Story: ‘Saddam instinctively extended Ibrahim’s interests at home, which developed his confidence and self-esteem and motivated him to continue enjoying learning at home and nursery.’
Empowering parents and carers to share and celebrate their child’s achievements and experiences at home in this way undoubtedly strengthens the engagement between all partners in the triangle of trust.
BUILDING ON LEARNING BETWEEN HOME AND SETTING
Ibrahim was making strong, meaningful connections between his learning at nursery and home. During the half-term break, Saddam shared a photograph of Ibrahim’s new scooter, and was surprised that he could ride it confidently and capably, probably due to his continued practising at nursery, which had led to his well-developed skills: ‘Attached you a picture of Ibrahim with his new scooter. We got surprised when we saw him riding the scooter with no falls’.
In my reply, I highlighted that he had enjoyed practising and developing his physical skills by riding the scooter every day at nursery, making further links between home and nursery.
Ongoing collaboration and a genuine interest and involvement should be at the heart of a setting’s culture and practice where strong relationships such as these are the norm rather than the exception.
THE BENEFITS FOR IBRAHIM AND EVERY CHILD
The success of the key person approach was crucial for Ibrahim’s early experiences at nursery. He felt reassured that someone at nursery knew him very well and genuinely cared about him.
Ibrahim knows that his key person will:
- greet him when he arrives, making him feel welcome and special, providing safety and security if something happens that makes him feel sad or upset
- comfort him and know how to help him feel better
- help him feel happy, safe, cared for and ready to learn
- help him understand that making mistakes is OK and part of learning
- be available to provide support and encouragement to try new things, even when he is unsure.
- He can:
- play and explore in the knowledge that his key person is there if he needs him
- feel that he belongs in nursery and knows that there are special people and things there that he cares about.
THE BENEFITS FOR SADDAM AND EVERY PARENT/CARER
The key person approach is fundamental in reassuring families that their child is safe, happy and cared for at nursery. Saddam knew from the start that Ibrahim had a strong relationship with his key person and that a simple welcoming routine (opening the gate, holding hands, waving goodbye) was essential in helping him to settle every day.
Saddam knows:
- Who Ibrahim’s special person is at nursery, with whom he has formed a strong relationship.
- Ibrahim’s relationship with his key person means that he was comforted for as long as necessary so that he was ready to play and explore independently.
- If Ibrahim is unsure or unhappy about something, that his key person will know about it and provide the appropriate support.
- Ibrahim has someone at nursery who knows him well and with whom he can share any concerns or talk to about how his day had been.
- Ibrahim is loved, valued and cared for in the same way that he would be at home.
- Open and honest communication from the beginning is crucial in supporting families to understand how their child is developing and learning.
THE BENEFITS FOR KEY PERSONS
The key person is crucial in supporting and promoting each child’s developing identity, providing a sensitive warm response to their communication, behaviour and feelings. They know their group of key children well, which supports them in engaging in genuine, responsive interactions with them and their parents. They can:
- pay close attention to each child’s interests, preferences and development
- plan more effectively to support their continuing learning and progress
- form strong relationships with parents and families
- show mutual respect and a genuine interest in children and families.
VALUED PARTNERS, ENDURING PARTNERSHIPS
Our partnership endures, and Ibrahim continues to be a confident and participatory member of nursery. Ibrahim’s enjoyment of his nursery experience is evident in the way in which he arrives confidently and waves goodbye to his dad every day, for which Saddam’s gratitude continues beyond the care of his own child: ‘Thank you, Mr Yates, for all your cares to all the children and for giving them beautiful inspiration about the nursery’.
Appreciation and sincerity such as this continue to make working with and supporting families and their children’s learning in the early years truly rewarding. It shows the power that genuine partnerships have in maintaining real, authentic and respectful dialogue with children and families; ensuring that children and their parents feel reassured and valued. This is central to the work of all early years practitioners and teachers.
REFERENCES
- Goldschmied, E. and Selleck, D. (1996) Communication Between Babies in Their First Year. London: NCB.
- Roberts, R. (2010) Wellbeing from Birth. London: Sage.
- Department for Education (2023a) Development Matters: Non-statutory curriculum guidance for the early years foundation stage: https://bit.ly/4elrEky
- DfE (2023b) Early years foundation stage (EYFS) statutory framework: https://bit.ly/3zizw7G
- Development Map: https://www.developmentmap.co.uk
- Early Years Coalition (2021) Birth to 5 Matters: Non-statutory guidance for the Early Years Foundation Stage: https://www.birthto5matters.org.uk
