'It didn't do me any harm, so it's good enough for my children isn't it?'
'Aren't alternatives to smacking just as bad?' 'If parents can't smack, won't they become even more stressed?'
Have you ever wondered how to answer these questions? Parents may assume that childcarers, who are in loco parentis for long periods of time, have expert knowledge on matters of discipline. But childcarers might be struggling with the same difficulties in their own family or don't feel prepared to deal with some of the more complex questions parents ask about alternatives to physical discipline. Carers may even feel the training they received did not prepare them for the many challenges of disciplining children and in tackling the range of emotional needs of children.
Recently I gave a talk to a group of parents on toddler behaviour and discipline, only to find out that a number of nursery staff were also attending because they could not find courses or information to help them deal with the queries from parents. This is particularly important with the changes to the national standards for under-eights daycare and guidance that now say that childminders in England cannot smack children even with parental consent.
A booklet, Encouraging Positive Discipline: A guide for professionals, that has been published by the NSPCC, should help give childcarers some grounding - including up-to-date research, facts and figures, and information on how positive discipline works. This, along with empathy and listening to parents, can make an enormous difference even if parents are sceptical about positive discipline initially.
As a parent myself, I often give examples from my own experiences as a parent and I can sympathise about how difficult it can be. Professionals may meet parents who feel they should know everything about parenting without being given advice. But many of us can benefit from advice and sharing. Sharing our wisdom is crucial to ensure all children are happy and healthy and able to fulfil their potential.
Childminders themselves were overwhelmingly in favour of this change because they know physical punishment is not an effective way to discipline or teach a child right from wrong.
