Q In our nursery, we have a four-year-old whose behaviour can be provoking.
She is likely to be the one who says, 'Why?' and she likes to have the last word in any disagreement. We were doing well to reduce confrontation and respond positively to her ideas and questions. Then one member of staff had a difficult exchange with the child's mother. Our colleague took this badly and keeps raking over what was said in our group room meetings. She has also made remarks in the child's hearing along the lines of, 'Just like her mother!' and 'That family doesn't know the meaning of respect!'
A Whatever may have happened between the adults, it is unacceptable for your colleague to take out her feelings on the four-year-old. It does not matter that the words are not said directly to the child. The child can hear what is said and unless your colleague's poor practice is challenged, she is likely to become more directly unpleasant. Her behaviour is undermining the team's positive approach.
It is appropriate for you, or other colleagues, to speak with this practitioner. You need to express your disapproval when she makes a remark -quietly at the time or soon after. It might be, 'I appreciate that Amy just answered you back. But I don't think it is alright to make a comment like...' You might highlight, 'We agreed to handle Amy's behaviour by... I don't believe any of us should make remarks like...'
It sounds as if your colleague still has strong feelings about the incident with the mother. The professional approach is to talk these through, but not in a repetitive way in room meetings. Your colleague needs a supervision session with the nursery manager. If she resists, you need to explain the situation to your manager and ask for support.
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