Understanding what children say about living with domestic violence, parental substance misuse or parental health problems, by Sarah Gorin, senior research officer at the NSPCC, was published last week by the National Children's Bureau. It found the most persistent plea from children was for age-appropriate information to help them understand what was going on in their family. They also wanted someone trustworthy to confide in who would listen and reassure them.
Ms Gorin reviewed 40 research studies between 1990 and 2003 where children and young adults were interviewed and a further 50 related books and articles in journals. Among her key findings was that children were more aware of problems than parents realised, but they did not always understand what was happening and why.
The report also found that children mainly talked to their mothers, their friends, or even their pets, rather than to professionals. Many felt that professionals did not talk to them in a way they could understand and, in some domestic violence cases, did not speak directly to them at all.
Ms Gorin said, 'Lack of communication is a major barrier to children getting the help they need. Within families it often results from a shared desire to protect one another, as well as a sense of secrecy and shame.
'Children want to be believed and respected by professionals and involved in decision making. Not talking to them may only make their sense of confusion, isolation and frustration worse.'
