Children
Observe a two-year-old in your setting for a sustained period of time. How do adults and the child relate to each other? Focus on:
* Separation from the parent. It is important that children's feelings are respected, and that adults comfort them sensitively at this stressful time. Adults can affirm children's feelings by allowing them to cry and express sadness about the parting, instead of using diversionary tactics. Elinor Goldschmied suggests that 'partings should not take place in the busy middle of the room. Make sure there are two adult-sized chairs at hand. The parent sits down and as the child starts to calm, says clearly what is going to happen and hands the child over. It may be painful, but the process should at least feel dignified.'
* Times when the room is well staffed. What happens at times when you have the most adults present? Do they get closely involved with individual children, joining in with their play, engaging them in conversation? Or do they flit from child to child? 'I can remember seeing a nursery nurse passing a child who was longing for her to stop,' comments Elinor Goldschmied. 'She just called out to the child, "hello gorgeous". Should we not assume it was an unsatisfying experience for the child? We need to organise for space and tranquillity so that social relationships can flower. There are often enough staff around, but they don't manage quiet moments for conversation and exchange without interruption.'
* Nappy changing and toiletting. During these intimate times, there is plenty of opportunity for eye contact, for a shared laugh or a favourite song. Children are sometimes simply scooped up by somebody - anybody - because it's 11 o'clock and time for nappy changes. Are they being shown the proper respect?
Nursery staff
Working so closely with children and families is demanding. Two key issues to arise are:
* Dependence. Staff worry that children might become too dependent on one adult and this will inhibit their growth and independence. But young children need to make secure attachments before they are ready to explore and move away - and they need adults who do not feel possessive about 'my children'.
* Equality. Nurseries are often concerned to ensure that all children are treated equally. But children do not all need the same things. Some need the special attention and the consistency of a key person throughout their nursery time, others prefer to relate with more adults. In any case, a member of staff cannot relate to all children in the same way.
