Any agency will tell you that most nannies these days prefer daily work to living in their employer's home. However, there is a small but noticeable trend back to living in, as I am now being approached by families, usually in rural locations, who will offer a nanny self-contained accommodation.
With all the home improvement programmes on television, people are much more conscious of the potential value of the loft, barn or shed at the bottom of the garden. And as one employer said to me, 'We like our space and privacy as much as the nanny does.'
A few years ago, experienced nannies might have been able to buy their own homes, but as property prices have rocketed, having outside accommodation provided is the answer for some nannies who want to save up for a mortgage but are at an age when they don't want to live with the children's parents either.
Kerry Egan got her first job as a daily nanny in her home village of Kingscliffe in Northampton. During her 15-year career since then she has cared for children ranging in age from 11 weeks to 11 years.
Kerry says, 'I was lucky to get my first job so close to home, but when it ended I knew I'd have to live in if I wanted to be a nanny. In all my jobs I came home most weekends.
'Living in someone's spare room was beginning to be a bit claustrophobic.
It can be hard to relax and switch off from work when you live in the workplace, especially if your room is near the children. I looked into buying a place of my own, but house prices were way beyond my reach. So I decided to see if I could find a nanny position that offered separate accommodation. This was quite a tall order, because it had to be in the area where my family and lots of friends live. Also, I would never compromise by taking a job where I didn't get on with the family just because it had luxury accommodation.
'To my surprise, I was offered two different jobs that would have suited me. Now, my flat is actually the end bit of the family's L-shaped house. It is beautifully decorated and fully furnished. I have two bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom and lounge. I also have my own front door. It's a wonderful feeling at the end of a long day to step into my own place, have a shower without worrying whether someone else might want to use the bathroom, eat what I want when I want, and come and go as I please. I can invite friends round for the evening or have them stay overnight. The parents never come into the flat. I respect their privacy and they respect mine. They never ask what I'm doing, although I do let them know if I'll be away for a whole weekend, since there is an alarm system. One night a week the parents stay away from home and I sleep in the main part of the house.
I am never taken for granted, although of course I would certainly respond if there was an emergency.
'I feel like I enjoy the best of both worlds. I have all the advantages of being a daily nanny, but it's only a minute's walk to work!'
Memories good and bad of the experience of living in an employer's house are still fresh for those who live out. Hannah Simpson was just 18 when she went to London to work as a live-in nanny caring for children aged six and one.
Hannah says, 'I was very shy and it took an enormous amount of courage to leave my family, but I knew I would never get a chance to work with children if I stayed at home. Claire, the mother, was a nurse and Mark was a teacher. They lived in a terraced house where I had my own tiny bedroom, but we all shared the one family bathroom and living room. Coming from a close family myself, I found it easy to fit in and I suppose I was rather like a younger sister to Claire. I would spend my evenings watching television or chatting to whoever was home. Claire sometimes worked night shifts and Mark had after-school staff meetings. If Claire needed to sleep during the day I always took the children out, so we managed to work around everybody's needs and live together very amicably. I was happy to babysit, since that meant I had the living room to myself and could invite friends round for the evening.
'After that job finished, I went travelling and when I came back I looked for another live-in job. My new family paid me more than twice what I had previously earned and my bedroom was huge, with a sofa, television, stereo and bookshelves. They gave me a car and I had a great time with the children. The parents worked long hours in the city and I only saw them in the evenings and at weekends. But it's hard to describe - there just wasn't the same sense of ease as I'd had with Mark and Claire. I started to feel in the way. If I wanted some lunch, the mum would always be in the kitchen chatting to a friend and I would be interrupting her. They mentioned that they didn't like 'strangers' in the house, so I didn't feel comfortable inviting my friends round. They were very security-conscious and always bolted the door before they went to bed. One Saturday I was going clubbing with friends and I asked them to leave the door unbolted because I'd be out late. But at 3am I couldn't find a taxi so I slept on a friend's floor.
When I got back they were really angry - they'd worried that I might have had an accident and they had no way of contacting me. The next Saturday the father said, "If you think you're going to be too legless to get yourself home tonight, could you please phone us by 11 so we can lock up". He meant it as a joke, but it upset me. I never drink on duty and it's my business what I do at weekends.
'From then on I started to stay over on Saturday nights with some nanny friends who had their own flat. When somebody left I took over her room, and from then I only worked as a live-out nanny.'
Separate live-in accommodation can be the lure for nanny jobs that might otherwise be hard to fill, such as ones where the mother is at home during the day. It can also be what keeps nannying attractive for someone who feels she has moved on in her career or life.
Ann Ryall gained her NNEB in 1992. After her first daily nanny job she moved to a live-in position caring for three girls aged two months, three and five. After some years in various other jobs, she went back to that family just for the summer - and she is still there. The girls are now ten, 13 and 15.
Ann says, 'I had kept in touch with the girls and gone back for their holidays and so on, so there has always been a very strong bond between us.
This time, instead of living in the house I have a flat in a converted stable block. It has two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom. It is totally separate from the house so once I've finished work I can come and go as I like. Nowadays my social life is centred much more around my flat since I can invite people over whenever I want.
'Caring for older children uses a completely different set of skills. I help with homework, organise all the uniform and kit for school and talk through the normal "growing up" pains. I take charge of the house, children, horses and dogs overnight when the parents are away. I'd never take a job I disliked just because it offered separate accommodation, but if I were to make a change I would look for another flat - I'd find it hard to go back to living in just a bedroom.'
Donna Weallans gained her NNEB in 1991. She nannied in America and worked in a day nursery in England until she married and went to California. When her marriage broke up she returned to England. 'When I came back I wanted to make a total fresh start, so I looked into career changes where I would earn enough money to provide me with my own home,' says Donna. 'I realised that being a nanny is the job I really enjoy. However, for years I'd been used to having my own home, and a nanny salary would certainly not get me a mortgage in the area close to my family where I wanted to live.'
Donna now cares for a two-year-old and a baby. She works on a live-in basis with a one-bedroom flat, part of a converted coach house above the office her employer uses.
Her employer says, 'We live in a small village and my children are very young, so we need an experienced live-in nanny. Our first nanny stayed in our house initially, then we moved her to the coach house. This has worked really well. We enjoy time with our children when the nanny has finished work, and she needs her own life and privacy.'
Donna says, 'Having this flat is great. I feel I enjoy all the benefits of living in with the advantages of living out.'
Helen Kewley runs Nice Nannies Now in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire. They both encouraged me to go to evening classes and to take driving lessons, and were happy to have my best friend and sister come to stay, so I didn't feel at all exploited if I took the children to the zoo on a Saturday morning or cooked for the adults at the same time as the children.
I remember the father saying 'we want you to be as independent as you like'. I was in sole charge of a six-month-old baby and her three-year-old brother. From the childcare point of view it was a wonderful job.
Most of my wages went on rent, food and household bills. But I loved the complete break betweeen the job and my own life, and I felt much more enthusiastic going back to work on a Monday morning, though I certainly didn't leave London with lots of money in the bank. This seemed to be a pattern with lots of my nanny friends, who would come to live-in jobs in London but eventually find their own flats and work as a daily.'
Hannah's friend Sarah has a different point of view. She says, 'I met Hannah when we first came to London. I came from East Anglia so I went home almost every weekend. At first I took a train, but once I had a car I'd drive out on a Friday and back early on Monday morning, so most of my social life was at home. I did meet a lot of other nannies in London but only saw them during the day with the children. Although I went out sometimes in the evening, I never brought friends back. I ate with the children and as soon as their parents came home they took over putting them to bed and I went to my room at the top of the house. It was a three-storey house with a basement kitchen so once I went upstairs I tended to stay there. As often happens with live-in nannies, I had a problem when the mother got a promotion at work and started to come home late. I think she hoped I might not notice if I was busy with the children, so she never phoned to warn me. I had just got engaged, but since Steve lived in East Anglia I was in every evening. Still, I began to feel I was being taken advantage of, so eventually we sat down and agreed that in future she would phone me if she had to work late and I would be paid for the extra hours I was working. This happened as I was starting to seriously save towards a house deposit, and I was amazed how quickly my money mounted up. My only big expense was petrol at the weekends. I didn't have to buy food or pay household bills. I can't think of any other job that would have allowed me to accumulate so much money in such a short time.'
STRINGS ATTACHED
PROBABLE CONDITIONS OF SEPARATE ACCOMMODATION
* Rural locations
* An early start to work
* Possibly a greater level of flexibility expected from the nanny
* For experienced nannies who can take sole charge overnight if both parents are away
* Careful, confident drivers required
* The nanny does not pay rent or maintenance costs or provide furniture, but usually pays her own phone costs and sometimes her electricity bill
