Emma's Mum was difficult to work with at first', says Christine Evans, a nursery special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO). 'She was over-protective and wouldn't let Emma do anything, not even eat food unless it was mashed up, for fear of Emma choking.'
This reaction by Emma's mother is not surprising. Practitioners have to play many roles when supporting parents - adviser, counsellor and social worker all rolled into one. How this support is offered will influence the attitude of the parents and, consequently, the future relationship between the setting and home.
Christine worked patiently with Emma's mother, but, in the end, it was Emma herself who played the trump card. Embarrassed that it was only her food that was being mashed up, she just helped herself to the lunch of her friend Simon, which he happily shared! Emma's mother had arrived early to collect her and couldn't believe her eyes. 'It was plain sailing after that,' says Christine.
There are various important and useful points to bear in mind when working with the parents of a special needs child.
* Give them time to talk. Be there to listen and support. But use the time wisely, since the other children in the setting, and their parents, also have a right to time and attention.
* Give positive feedback and encouragement about the child's progress. Tell parents about their child's achievements, good behaviour and goals he has reached. But be truthful. Don't tell them that the child has achieved something unless he really has.
* Explain any programmes and strategies that are being used in the setting. Inform parents of changes or adjustments to programmes and explain why these were made.
* Involve the parents in any programmes of work in the child's individual education plan (IEP). This is a requirement of the Code of Practice anyway, but parents' involvement in the actual implementation of the programme always pays dividends. Be prepared, though, for some parents who refuse outright to do follow-up work at home, or those who promise to do so and never quite manage to keep the promise, for whatever reason.
* Give the parents credit for work they do at home with their child - let them know their input is both valued and valuable.
* Emphasise to parents that, when doing the programme at home, as soon as the child shows any boredom, distraction or distress, they should stop doing the activity. If he is forced to carry on against his will, he will not enjoy the activity and he certainly will not gain anything from it.
* Work together with the parents on programmes planned by outside agencies or support services.
* Find out the names and addresses of relevant societies, clubs, self-help and contact groups and pass these on to the parents. Parents often feel isolated and will be grateful to discover that they are far from alone.
* Become a mutual support group. Pooled knowledge of the child provides a source of useful information that can be tapped when planning programmes.
* Inform parents about discussions you may have with outside agents when they are not there. For example, if the advisory and support teacher calls into the setting, give the parents a summary of what was discussed.
* Help them to feel at ease during reviews of IEPs or of the child's Statement of Special Educational Needs.
When organising a project for the child to do both in the setting and at home, establish a diary to go between the two. This should record certain essential information including the child's current goals and their relevance to the particular Early Learning Goals in the Foundation Stage, which games and activities are being used, how to consolidate the learning at home, a record of the number or length of time that the activity was done, and the outcome. Always record what the child can do and not what he cannot do. You should also include examples of the child's involvement in his own record-keeping if he is capable of doing so. Close liaison and exchanges help to build positive relations between home and the setting.
* Other articles in the series are 'Down on paper' (27 September 2001), 'Just for you' (15 November 2001) and 'All in order' (20/27 December 2001).
