Any carer of children meets challenges and obstacles throughout the daily routine. These can range from mealtime mayhem or bathtime blues to shopping shambles or homework huffs!
Most nannies will have their own ways of dealing with times when the child is less than enthusiastic, to turn a laborious necessity into a pleasing experience. But sharing good practice is useful in any profession. Try my 26 tips for tackling the challenges of every day from A to Z.
A. Aggression. An adult can sometimes fuel the fire by trying too hard to discover an underlying reason for a child's sudden, unprovoked aggression.
Take the time to listen to the child's feelings, but try not to force the issue and use soft words and gentle reassuring touches to calm him down from a potentially aggressive situation. Use a teddy bear or doll to act as a catalyst for the child to direct his feelings. He may be more comfortable facing his fears by speaking to a stuffed toy that won't judge or argue with him as an adult might. Show that it is all right to have negative feelings, which can be relieved of in a safe way.
B. Bathtime should be fun, but it can cause outrage if it interrupts a child's precious play. Choose the time carefully and work around what suits everyone best, especially if you are within a large family and time is not on your side. Some small families find it is wise to allow a child let off steam when they come home and have tea before suddenly announcing it's bathtime, but larger families may cope better with just getting everybody straight into the bath before they have time to scatter around the house.
Challenges such as 'Okay, who can take their clothes off the fastest, first with the socks, where do the dirty clothes goI' will encourage them. Games in the bath, such as 'who can wash a part of their body beginning with L'
and 'dunk the duck' can make bathtimes more fun and enjoyable. Some carers then find it hard to get protesting children out of the bath. One game might be to hold a towel up to your face and ask children to put certain parts out of the bath: 'I can see a foot... I can see a leg... I can see a... bottom!' will get them out in fits of giggles.
C. Cleaning teeth is among the most reluctantly done chores. A fun way to encourage enthusiastic brushing is to have a pair of sunglasses handy and have a race to see which child can clean their teeth to such a dazzling extent that the nanny has to put on sunglasses.
D. Dressing can be a chore that children drag their feet over, adding to the stress of the school run. As with most things, the key to speeding up independent dressing is to encourage it from an early age, and to make it fun. If you have the time, you could try dressing a teddy bear yourself while the children dress themselves, and you could feign ignorance and put all the clothes on the wrong way round, prompting the children to show teddy the right way to do it. (Of course, this could just spark off hopeless giggles!). If you have other tasks to do, perhaps the children could race you to see who can finish first and beat nanny. Or suggest that they surprise you when you are not looking and bet that they cannot creep up on you fully dressed without you noticing!
E. Eating healthy meals is often more successful in theory than in practice.
Children can be picky at the best of times and will let you know in no uncertain terms that what you are serving is high in the yuck factor. Most nannies try to offer healthy foods such as fruit and vegetables, but getting children to eat them is another thing. When preparing food, make it look attractive and inviting to eat. Use lots of colours, shapes and textures. Create pictures using the food, for example a face made up of a carrot nose, tomato mouth, cress hair and so on. Another option is to hide small amounts of vegetables in their favourite meals and let the child discover them.
F. Friends coming to play can sometimes cause disharmony for the brother or sister whose friend is not coming to play that week. You could draw up a rota or chart so the children can check whose turn it is to have a friend round and see there is no room for unfairness. You could all plan the afternoon together, deciding what everyone might like to play and preparing activities or putting out toys.
G. Give and take. Children tend to find it easier to take than to give, especially where siblings are concerned. When a potential conflict arises, the tactful nanny will intervene and help them reach a fair compromise that pleases both children. For example, a child playing with another's toy can be shown that all he has to do is ask very nicely and see how 'grown up'
the other child could be to share the toy for a little while. Children can be extremely sensitive about their own toys and it is important to stay aware of this and not force the issue. You could suggest to a child that he 'gives' his toy in return for 'taking' the other child's in return, while gradually moving on to experiencing how good it feels to be a giver.
H. Homework can be a battle of wills with an older child. Homework should be tackled when the child is not tired, hungry or distracted by noise or other children obviously having a better time. A quiet room to work in, after a snack and a drink, is the best preparation for productive work. Be sure to give plenty of praise and encouraging comments about how pleased the child's teacher and/or parents will be when they see the finished homework.
If that's not enough, one incentive is a good old-fashioned star chart.
When a child collects ten homework stars, he can be rewarded with a small treat.
I. Illness can be a frustrating time for a child. He can feel miserable, irritable and helpless. Settling the child and making him comfortable is obviously the nanny's first priority. If you have chores to do, it' s a good idea to make the child up a bed on the sofa or whatever you room you will spend most time in, so he is near you. Use his favourite bed covers and pyjamas, bring down his cuddly bear and set up a small table to which he has safe and easy access. This could have a drink bottle, a box of tissues, a cool flannel and some reading, colouring or puzzle books.
If possible, you could make pictures to colour, wordsearches and quizzes, depending on the age of the child. You could also perform puppet shows with toys over the sofa or across the bedcovers so the child can watch or join in and get his mind off feeling miserable.
J. Jealousy between siblings is normal, but it can still cause uproar.
Diplomacy is called for on your part and you should let the child know that you understand his feelings and explain why the situation is so. In the instance of a new toy, you could suggest taking turns, remarking on how grown-up the owner of the toy would be to let his brother play with it.
Then both children feel worthwhile and both feel as though they have some control in the situation. In the case of a new baby, it is important to prepare the child as much as possible for the arrival. The child is likely to miss the one-to-one attention he received prior to the birth or being the baby of the family, and he needs to feel valued again. Give him as much individual attention as you can, but also involve him with the care of the baby. Ask him to fetch the nappies, choose clothes and look after his little brother or sister (under close supervision, of course!).
K. Kicking is one way a young child will show his emotions when he has limited speech to explain his feelings. This doesn't excuse the behaviour, but a child may not realise the pain he causes when he kicks someone. If he continues to kick out, he should be removed from the situation, but do let him explain why he kicked out and encourage him to apologise to whoever was concerned.
L. Laziness can be cured by making exercise enjoyable. Children need a good balance of activity and rest time. But many are reluctant to participate in sports, and for some this means only battling the enemy of the games console. A trip to the park could turn into a hunt for different flowers, squirrel counting or a nature trail. A run in the garden could become an obstacle course through chairs, balls, hurdles and hoops - with emphasis on the fun aspect, rather than on winning or losing. And there's always kicking! (a football, not a playmate).
Sarah Scotcher is a nanny in St Neots, Cambridgeshire
