I attend Premier League football matches on a fairly regular basis. At every game there are young children with their parents, decked out in club kit, lifelong fans in the making.
At one particular game earlier this season, a little boy aged about four sat next to me, accompanied by his Dad. It was a testimonial match, so players from the club's illustrious history were on the pitch. The little boy named every single one as they ran out to warm up.
Impressed by his knowledge, I turned to his Dad and asked if his son's footballing knowledge was recognised at his school. 'Not likely, love', his Dad replied. 'They're not allowed to talk about it there'.
The conversations between the little boy and his Dad continued on and off throughout the game, each bouncing off the other. It was a delight to hear, and they were clearly not from the more well-to-do end of the football spectator spectrum.
I have thought about this incident a lot since it happened, for many reasons. Of course, it may be possible that the child's father had misinterpreted the school's attitude, but I doubt it. I wonder if the little boy is as talkative in his school environment as he was at the football stadium, or if, at age four, he has already been classified as a child who needs support and whose parents need advice.
Children talk best when they can talk about what they know and have experienced. They should also be free to talk without fear of criticism, to an adult that is genuinely interested in what they have to say, whatever the topic may be.
It goes without saying that it is important to discover the interests, not only of the children, but also of their families, when they are new to us. However, gathering this information is only worthwhile if it is then used within the setting.
Representing families' interests need not be a challenge. Perhaps, in the example cited above, some football programmes could be brought from home to keep in the book corner, enabling those children for whom this is an interest to demonstrate an enthusiasm for reading (and indeed talking) that may not otherwise be shown.
Clearly, we want parents to understand the importance of talking with their child about all manner of things, but it is also very important to demonstrate a willingness to listen to families when they want to tell us what their interests are.
As early years practitioners we may be experts in the curriculum as we understand it, knowing the powerful relationship that exists between speech and thought, and recognising how prowess in talk will underpin success in both reading and writing.
While we need to make these links explicit to parents, it is also important to understand that parents are experts in their children; they know them in different ways and through different eyes. Conversations between parent and child can often be more meaningful than those between a practitioner and a child as both share a context, a history of understandings that ensure the child's utterances are built upon and valued.
The work of Gordon Wells and Tizard and Hughes clearly demonstrated that conversations in the homes of working class children, between the children and their families, were frequently and significantly more meaningful than those between the same children and their teacher.
There is an increased emphasis on working with families in the new EYFS and this is to be welcomed, but practitioners need to recognise the importance of welcoming the kinds of information that families have to give and understanding how best to use it.
Each family is unique and has a culture of its own (football being an important part of the culture of the family mentioned above) and our settings need to reflect these qualities, if any kind of positive influence is to be effective.
This is particularly important when children start school. This is a huge milestone for parents and children alike, and may have been awaited with a range of feelings from anxiety to high excitement. Parents will, perhaps, have been used to a cosy and relaxed relationship with early years practitioners from an early years setting and need to know that the school will hear their voices too.
I can vividly remember carrying out home visits for the first time, for a January intake reception class. I was overwhelmed by the amount of information to be gained in these visits, and of how they helped me understand not just the children, but also their families.
In one home, Callum was playing on a train mat in front of the TV, while a Thomas The Tank Engine DVD played. He had the small replica engines and could narrate the story practically word for word. Strewn across the floor next to the mat was a selection of comics and magazines about trains as well as one or two of the Thomas the Tank Engine books.
I made sure that similar resources were easily available for him when school began; he was a gentle, shy child, who took comfort from the presence of familiar narratives in the setting. He also became known as a 'train expert', which raised his self-esteem and boosted his confidence.
Even without home visits, children have many ways of showing you what they are interested in. This can often be in the form of special objects brought from home. At worst these objects are ignored by busy adults, unwilling to take responsibility for these treasured possessions. At best, they can be clues to children's motivations and interests.
'Show and Tell' is often used as a time when children can share these items, with other children being encouraged to ask questions. I used to find these sessions drawn out and excruciating, particularly in terms of effective behaviour management. (There were always some children more interested than others - it's human nature).
I decided to abandon 'Show and Tell' in favour of a less institutionalised system. After all, what the children wanted was to show somebody whatever it was they had brought in, and have it acknowledged.
A small circular table was designated the 'talking table' and a tray placed on it. Labels and pens were also available, so children could show ownership of the items. The objects had to stay in the tray for the time that they were in school, but children were free to take a friend to the table at any time during the day and talk about what they had brought in to show. It worked really well.
The more relaxed environment encouraged more children to participate and the 'talking table' also became a focal point for parents first thing in the morning, when they were just as interested to see what the children had brought in as I was.
It was empowering, as it was a place where the families set the agenda for the conversations, not me, and where aspects of life outside school could be valued. It is our responsibility to place children and indeed their families in contexts which promote success. It is to the detriment of everyone, but most especially young children (such as the boy at the football match), to drive ahead with an agenda which may have little relevance to the communities that surround us.
RUNNING PARENT WORKSHOPS
In my last teaching post as deputy headteacher of a large infants' school, I ran many parent workshops. Here is a list of attributes of the most successful sessions:
- Making time to discover what parents want to know, rather than making assumptions about what you think they ought to know.
- Encouraging parents to write down their questions (anonymously, if they wish) and using them as a basis for input at the beginning of the workshops.
- Giving people the opportunity to make resources to use with their child, wherever possible. Taking something away from the session ' in their hands' as well as 'in their heads' helps people translate the ideas they have heard into practice with their own children.
- Demonstrating skills such as bookmaking, using digital cameras to make resources, creating story props and games empowers parents and give them an opportunity to discover creative skills which may have lain dormant for some while.
- Creating resources together makes for a social atmosphere, where parents can also learn from each other as well as from the educator in charge of the sessions.
Working in this way, planning from the adults' interests and concerns, collaborating on practical activities and talking together also offers parents a strong model for interacting with their own children.
