Working with Families – In the shadows

Domestic abuse has been referred to as the ‘shadow pandemic’, with support services recording a rise in demand over lockdown as families were trapped in the same space as their abuser for months on end.

Refuge’s telephone helpline, which ordinarily logs around 270 calls every day, saw an increase of 77 per cent during June, while the first week in July brought a 54 per cent rise in women needing refuge space when compared with the last week in June.

The same was true for local services. Rachael Hudson, founder and chief executive of Child’s Vision, a Kent-based charity set up to help and support children who have witnessed or have been affected by domestic abuse, says referrals went up by 33 per cent over lockdown compared to the same time last year: ‘One school came to us and said “we need to run your support programmes” because these children have been through hell during lockdown.’

Hestia, one of the largest providers of domestic abuse refuges in London and the South East, had a 30 per cent rise in demand for its services, plus a 47 per cent increase in downloads of its advice and guidance app, Bright Sky.

A NEW INTENSITY

‘During lockdown, abuse was able to take on a new intensity,’ says Tamara White, area manager at Hestia. ‘Previously, those experiencing domestic abuse were engaging with friends and family members, balancing things in their lives – then suddenly everyone was trapped at home.’

Research carried out by Women’s Aid found that more than half of mothers currently experiencing domestic abuse said their children had witnessed more abuse towards them, and over a third said their abuser had shown an increase in abusive behaviour directed towards their children. Women who had left abusive relationships reported abusers using the restrictions imposed by Covid to ramp up abuse – for example, using them as an excuse not to return children after contact or to restrict women’s access to their children.

NOTICING THE SIGNS

Restricting contact with services such as GPs, nurseries and schools reduced opportunities to disclose abuse or have it picked up by concerned professionals. As children return to early years settings, practitioners may notice signs that something is not right. Child’s Vision runs training for local professionals because symptoms of domestic abuse can be mistaken for other issues.

‘You have to know signs and symptoms of domestic abuse, otherwise the wrong diagnosis can be made,’ says Ms Hudson. ‘Professionals can assume ADHD, or Asperger’s, but some of these behaviour issues are there because of what is going on in the home, and the little ones can’t tell you. If you know what to look for, you can learn a lot from their drawings and their role play.’

The physical, psychological and emotional effects of domestic violence on children can be severe and long-lasting. ‘For children, witnessing abuse is child abuse in its own right,’ says Jordan Hollis, programmes assistant at Home-Start East Sussex, which offers volunteer support to struggling families with pre-school children and delivers the Lotus domestic abuse recovery programme.

Domestic abuse can impact children in many different ways. ‘Some children are hyper-vigilant and want to do everything right,’ says Ms White. ‘Others may be more aggressive and have more behaviour problems. It is a challenge to pick out children who might be exposed to abuse, it has to be based on your knowledge of that individual child and ability to notice any changes.’

‘It is important for practitioners to follow their instincts if something doesn’t feel right, and to discuss with their safeguarding lead or manager,’ says Paula Graves, nursery and after-school manager at specialist nursery Centre 56. ‘The relationship with the family is massively important because this alerts you when something is not right – are they withdrawn, are they unkempt or unwell?’

The fact that settings may not have seen children for some time could make it more difficult for practitioners to spot changes in behaviour. The mental health of some children may have been negatively affected by lockdown without the additional impact of domestic abuse.

In addition, for many nurseries, handover has become a distanced affair, giving fewer opportunities for practitioners to interact with parents. However, many settings have shown great commitment to keeping relationships with parents and children going in lockdown.

‘You have got to keep that relationship going whether through phone or Facetime,’ says Ms Graves. ‘It is massively important to come up with innovative ways to keep in touch.’

SURVIVOR SUPPORT

It is vital for settings to be aware of local services that are available to support survivors of domestic abuse and their children, so they can signpost straight away following any disclosure.

‘With domestic abuse, the victim is 70 per cent more likely to be killed while trying to leave the situation, so it is important for practitioners to advise victims to get professional help and support before they go – it is not as easy as just walking out,’ says Ms Graves. Information about local services should be readily available on noticeboards or similar.

One way nurseries can support parents and children is by modelling play, and providing a space for mums to play with their children. ‘Unfortunately, for many mums, part of the abuse is a persistent undermining of their parenting,’ says Ms White. ‘They are always told everything they have done is wrong, so it is important to provide a space for them to learn again how to play with their child.’

While the majority of domestic abuse victims are females in heterosexual relationships, anybody can be affected. ‘There can be male victims, same-sex relationships, and parents can suffer domestic abuse at the hands of their children – we have noticed a rise in that as well,’ says Ms Graves.

OFFERING REFUGE

My First Friends Nursery in Brighton takes in a number of children from a refuge for families escaping domestic abuse. ‘Prior to the families starting with us, they can disclose information to us if they want to,’ says deputy manager Demita Harman. ‘We work with their case worker and make sure that the parent is first of all happy for their child to attend the nursery. We help to put their mind at rest if they have any safeguarding concerns, which I’m sure all nurseries would do.’

As part of the FareShare scheme, which redistributes surplus food to charities, the nursery is able to provide free bags of food, and will also find clothes if necessary, as often families will have left their previous home at short notice.

‘One time the nursery had to go to a local supermarket to locate basic essentials such as hats, gloves, scarves and welly boots as the child came in slippers,’ says Ms Harman. The nursery also ensures children have access to activities they might not otherwise experience, such as libraries, emergency services visits, beach visits and museums.

Apart from families from the refuge, the setting has noticed more family tensions across the board over lockdown. ‘We have seen a higher percentage since lockdown started of emotions running high, and children being upset, resulting in the breakdown of marriage,’ says the manager.

The Government has recognised the impact of Covid-19 on victims of domestic abuse, and the Ministry of Justice has allocated £25m to support local charities across England and Wales. The Domestic Abuse Bill, currently going through Parliament, has now been amended so that children affected by domestic abuse will be recognised as victims in their own right. By including children, it is hoped that authorities will prioritise the provision of support services for them – a vital need.

CASE STUDY: Centre 56, Liverpool

Centre 56 is a nursery set up to support children who have been impacted by domestic abuse or other crisis situations. This includes children living in a refuge due to domestic abuse, children living in a family with domestic abuse and children in families with a history of abuse.

Paula Graves, nursery and after-school manager at Centre 56, says while there was a rise in domestic abuse during lockdown, local agencies received fewer self-referrals. ‘Because of the situation, they were trapped at home with their abusers and unable to get help,’ she says.

Centre 56 has 25 children between the ages of two and five on its books, and remained open throughout the lockdown, but only for those children deemed most vulnerable – in practice, those with social worker involvement. The setting was concerned about its other families and created a ranking system to set out the amount of contact needed.

‘Families in the red ranking would get a call three times a week,’ says Ms Graves. ‘We made an excuse of delivering food parcels so we could do a welfare check at the door. For those ranked amber, we would keep the links going with phone calls, WhatsApp calls, letting people know we were open.’

Centre 56’s website has a ‘hide’ function so that a parent can quickly hide the fact they are looking at it from an abusive partner, and the nursery does not advertise itself widely, relying on referrals from other organisations such as local refuges.

Staff are all trained to work with children who have been impacted by domestic abuse. ‘We don’t want it to look any different for the children, but the teaching focuses on their emotional well-being, with lots of music therapy, for example. Centre 56 is a respite for children from what is going on at home,’ says Ms Graves.

‘We focus on “healthy body, healthy mind” and look at eating well, mindfulness programmes, yoga, relaxation techniques and play around emotional development. It is about providing a safe space where children can talk about their feelings.’

MORE INFORMATION

• www.centre56.org.uk
• www.childsvision.co.uk
• www.hestia.org
• www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• www.refuge.org.uk
• www.womensaid.org.uk