The basic two golden rules can make sense in the social world of three- to five-year-olds. However, simple words and actions close to the time best help children understand that their behaviour was an example of what adults mean by 'gentle'. Heavy use of symbolic rewards like stickers disrupts children's ability to internalise values. They do not learn to make the unpaid choice to be helpful. In contrast, children learn, 'If I'm kind, they give me badges.'
Exclusion from a special Golden Time operates as an artificial consequence - consistent maybe, but neither predictable nor fair. Young children have forgotten what they did wrong - possibly hours earlier, in a full day setting. They feel it is unjust for an adult to punish them now, because surely the incident was handled at the time. If a child spoils a game, then after fair warning she will have been guided to play elsewhere. If she has distressed another child (been unkind), an adult should have been active right then, exploring 'what has happened?' and 'how can you make things better now?'
Register now to continue reading
Thank you for visiting Nursery World and making use of our archive of more than 35,000 expert features, subject guides, case studies and policy updates. Why not register today and enjoy the following great benefits:
What's included
-
Free access to 4 subscriber-only articles per month
-
Unlimited access to news and opinion
-
Email newsletter providing activity ideas, best practice and breaking news
Already have an account? Sign in here