I have always found listening to Cleo Laine singing the evocative song 'Sometimes when we touch' thought-provoking. It is even more so in the current climate.
The sensuality of touch has been degraded to such an extent that parents and carers with young children struggle to know what is acceptable. This is a very British hang-up and a great loss to our children. Can you imagine an Italian or an American mother being worried about hugging her child in public?
In my visit to a Steiner School in Germany I met Hans, a demanding four-year-old who wanted constant adult attention. The session in which we modelled with beeswax provided an opportunity to rub oil on to the children's hands to make the wax more pliable. A chance reaction from Hans established that he liked having his hands stroked in this way. There was instant calm from his frenetic activity earlier in the day. The kindergarten teacher was amazed at this reaction.
During the past ten years I have worked closely with our staff team and parents to learn about safe touching, alongside our children. Oddly, the first task is often to deal with the inhibitions of the adults. Many of the children we work with on a daily basis want physical contact. The first thing they do is to give us a hug, and we need to establish ways in which this can be carried out appropriately within an educational setting.
We set up our 'A Quiet Place' in 2000, having trained staff to be Educational Therapeutic workers and to carry out massage. Families learn in a holistic way the strategies that work for their children. The emphasis is upon hand and foot massage. A foot spa comes in handy and also provides an alternative for those less comfortable with massage.
This has now extended into peer group massage, where whole classes spend time massaging each other. They stand in a circle and massage each other's backs and shoulders while they are all fully clothed. Routines include telling the story of the sun rising and imitating the rays coming from the sun.
The school has a calmer feel. Men in the team feel comfortable joining in the process. We are fortunate in having approval from the governors and parents for the process, though I regret that recent publicity shows less success in other schools.
To quote the song, 'Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much.'
Pat Wills is head teacher at Claremont Community Primary School and Centre of Excellence, Blackpool
