Management queries - Not close enough?

Q. Since returning from furlough, one of our nursery practitioners has become very cautious around the pre-school children. We have noticed that she no longer lets them sit on her knee and shrinks away when they go to hug her. Should we speak to her about this?

Greg Stewart Lane, nursery manager, London Early Years Foundation Soho Nursery and Pre-School

‘I would speak to her. Do it privately and make sure the conversation is recorded in note form. Start by asking her how she is, and if she has had any difficulties since she returned to work. I’d try to get her to open up in a genuine, kind way. And recognise that we’ve all been through a lot during the Covid-19 pandemic.

‘In this case, it might help to share your own experiences. For example, I still don’t really use the London Tube to get to work – I feel safer travelling by train and walking. Whether that’s actually safer, I don’t know, but that’s what makes me feel comfortable.

‘Then you could move on by saying you’ve noticed she has become more hesitant about being close to children, and ask her what concerns she has. One way to reassure her would be to reiterate the Covid safety policies you have in place. Remind her you’re doing everything you can to reduce risk. At the same time, however, be realistic as, unfortunately, there is risk. Explain to her that part of her job is to interact and be close to the children. That’s what the attachment theory is about.

‘Try to work towards a point of destination. How is she going to get back to a place where she’s able to physically interact securely with the children as she did before? That may take some time, and you may have to be realistic about what she can manage in the meantime. For example, could you move her to a group of different-aged children? Or leave her out of some activities that require a lot of contact? It’s not a long-term solution, but just temporary. But if you do this, you may risk pushing the problem “down the road”.

‘You may also want to point her towards a counselling service where she could speak to someone in more detail. Perhaps there is a mental health concern that needs to be addressed. Some people may appear to be fine but could be struggling more than you think.’

Sarah Sinclair, nursery manager, Country Kids Nursery

‘I would definitely speak to the staff member – a one-to-one on a personal level, rather than a meeting that suggests she has done something wrong. First I’d want to establish the root of the problem. Is she OK and has something happened that has brought on that detachment from the children? For example, is Covid a big factor? Does she have an underlying health condition? Did she experience a personal loss?

‘I would approach with caution. In the discussion, I’d make it clear that she knows we “have her back”. If there’s something going on, then a problem shared is a problem halved. If there is anything we can do, we will work to help rebuild that trust and confidence with the children again.

‘It’s also important to explain to her that although there is nothing in her job description that says you must cuddle children, a big part of the EYFS is the children’s emotional wellbeing and forming those keyworker bonds. If a child is not settling in, or is not getting that loving attention at home, they need the emotional empathy from the staff. If staff aren’t able to give them that, we’re not fulfilling our role as nursery practitioners.’

Lianne Moseley, director, Bonitots Bilingual Nursery and Pre-School

‘I would absolutely talk to the member of staff. Her behaviour is concerning because it’s both a change in behaviour and it doesn’t fit with our methodology. At our nursery we call it “professional love”. During our induction we explain how practitioners can provide a nurturing, loving environment in a professional way, and what the boundaries are.

‘I would keep the meeting informal – not have a one-to-one. She hasn’t actually done anything in breach of any sort of contractual requirements or anything like that. People are more inclined to be open and honest when things are done informally, at least to start with.

‘Go into the conversation without any predetermined ideas of what is going to happen. There could be lots of reasons why she has presented this behaviour and you have no idea what she might say. Just ask her: “We’ve noticed this, can you please tell us a bit more about what’s going on?” Then try to get the full story. Once you’ve heard her response, you will know what to do next in line with your policies and procedures.’