Positive Relationships: Grandparent Carers - Old hands?

Grandparents are often seen as the people popping in to spoil and dote on their grandchildren, not raise them. But it is estimated that there are around 100,000 grandparents in the UK bringing up children.

Analysis of the 2001 census data, the first time that statistics relating to family carers had been analysed, found that 173,200 children were living with a family member other than their parent, known as kinship care (see box, overleaf). The majority of these relatives were grandparents and, according to John Simmonds, director of policy, research and development at CoramBAAF Adoption & Fostering Academy, it is thought that this number has since increased.

Most of these arrangements are informal, but some grandparents are formally approved foster carers. In 2005, a new legal order established special guardianship, which gives carers parental responsibility, and the child leaves care as a result. The most common reasons that grandparents become full-time carers for grandchildren are parental drug or alcohol abuse, abuse and neglect, parental death, serious illness or disability, domestic violence and imprisonment.

CONTINUITY OF CARE

Sarah Wellard, director of policy and research at Grandparents Plus, says that an advantage of a child being cared for by their grandparents, rather than going into stranger foster care, is that there is a continuity of family relationships.

‘Often the children already have a close bond with the grandparent so it is much less unsettling for them to move in with a grandparent whom they already know and love than have to be taken into care,’ she says.

‘Grandparents also tend to be highly committed to the children, even when they are very challenging, so placements are much more stable.’

Evidence shows that the outcomes for children in kinship care are good – educational outcomes, emotional health and well-being, sense of belonging and being loved have all been identified positively.

‘Grandparents are able to build a relationship with them and gain the delight of seeing them grow, but it can be more of a challenge because many of these children have had a tough start in life, and the issues grandparents face can paint over the rosy glow,’ cautions Mr Simmonds.

A very high proportion – some research shows 50 per cent – of these children have special needs, a disability or emotional difficulties. Grandparents Plus found that 44 per cent of children growing up with grandparents have never received help from children’s services, despite the probability that they will have suffered parental abuse, neglect or the death of a parent.

Grandparents can also be struggling with their own health conditions, especially stress-related ones. They may have less energy because they are older, although Ms Wellard cautions that many are young grandparents, with only a small minority aged over 65 (see box, below).

‘For those bringing up young children, there can be generational issues – for example, feeling unable to fit in with parents at the school gate, and often not fitting with other grandparents who may be providing lots of childcare but can hand the children back to parents at the end of the day,’ Ms Wellard adds.

A lot of grandparent carers struggle financially. Many live in the poorest areas of the UK and around half give up work when they take on caring for their grandchild. Unlike adoptive parents, they have no right to paid leave from work and, without good advice, can miss out on benefits and other support.

EARLY TRAUMA

Although not always the case, children being raised by their grandparents may seem young for their age because of the trauma they have been through. ‘They may have difficulties making relationships or need additional support or specialist help like play therapy,’ says Ms Wellard.

‘There is also a much higher than average incidence of autistic spectrum disorder difficulties – which could be one of the reasons parents haven’t coped – and it can be difficult to distinguish between emotional difficulties arising from trauma or insecure early attachments and a developmental disability, so referral to an educational psychologist for a specialist assessment is likely to be helpful.’

Mr Simmonds says early years practitioners should never underestimate the scale of the problems that grandparent carers are taking on – including experiencing the death, serious illness or addiction difficulties of their own son or daughter. He advises adopting an approach of ‘respectful curiosity’ and not being afraid to ask questions in order to understand what has happened in the family.

‘It is important to be sensitive and non-judgemental towards grandparents and never to blame them for the children’s behaviour,’ adds Ms Wellard. ‘Remember that they are doing the best they can, often in extremely difficult circumstances.’

CASE STUDY: LIZ, AGED 46

Liz, who lives in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, has a special guardianship order for her two-year-old granddaughter.

‘My son and his girlfriend broke up soon after their daughter was born. The girlfriend didn’t have anywhere to go, so I agreed that she could move in to my home with the baby. She was drinking alcohol in the bedroom and neglecting her child. Then she decided to return to my son, a drug abuser, when their child was four months old.

‘Children’s services asked whether I’d like to have special guardianship of my granddaughter. Of course, I wanted to keep her with me, she’s family. I fought for her even though being granted special guardianship was incredibly intrusive. They wanted to know all about my upbringing and my relationship with my deceased first husband, who was violent.

‘I agreed to take parenting classes, which were a real eye-opener. Parenting styles are very different from 20 years ago, with emphasis on setting boundaries rather than punishing children.

‘I had a supervision order for the first year but then felt like all support was gone. It’s brilliant having my granddaughter, but my husband, her step-grandfather, has a brain aneurysm and is diabetic. His medical condition is worsening and I’m caring for both of them without help. Finances are tough but Grandparents Plus got us funding for a new washing machine when ours broke and are giving me legal support to contest my benefits. They’ve been brilliant.

‘I take my granddaughter to groups and she’s due to start pre-school soon. I explain the situation to people and many are surprised. They say that this should be my time, now that my kids are grown up, but I think anyone would do it in the circumstances.

‘My son has had many chances and loves drugs and his dog more than his daughter. It’s upsetting but my priority now is his child and to give her the best upbringing I can. She thinks the world of me and her step-grandfather. Seeing her smile and hearing her call out “Nanny” is my joy every day.’

GRANDPARENT CARERS: FACTS AND FIGURES

In 2001, according to analysis of Census data, 173,200 children and young people in the UK were living with relatives without either of their parents present in the household. Just under half these children (46 per cent) were living with grandparents.

Surveys conducted by the Grandparents Association and Grandparents Plus report that between 7 per cent and 9 per cent of children in grandparent care were fostered. Most other arrangements were secured with a legal order, typically either a residence (48-64 per cent) or special guardianship order (17-21 per cent), with only 2 per cent having adoption orders.

Grandparent carers in the UK are not necessarily elderly. Grandparents Plus found three-quarters were aged between 45 and 64.

According to Grandparents Plus, it is not uncommon for grandparents to take on care from birth, but one study found the average age is four and a half.

Just under a half of grandparent carers care alone, with the vast majority of lone carers being women.

Around 60 per cent of grandparent carers in England and Wales and 77 per cent in Scotland were located in the poorest 40 per cent of areas in the UK, with most being in the poorest 20 per cent.

Taken from ‘Research review – Grandparents raising grandchildren’ by Joan Hunt, Honorary Professor at Cardiff Law School.

MORE INFORMATION

Grandparents Plus offers an advice service on weekdays 10am–3pm: 0300 123 7015, advice@grandparentsplus.org.uk, www.grandparentsplus.org.uk

CoramBAAF Adoption & Fostering Academy, http://corambaaf.org.uk

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