Q: I mind a boy who never seems to pay attention to what he is doing. He bumps into other children and furniture and drops his cutlery when he is having lunch. How should I respond?
A: Just when we think we have gained plenty of experience and know about how children grow and develop, a child comes along who completely confounds us and we have to search for new ways of interacting and giving the guidance that this new individual seems to need.
With this little boy, you might begin by doing a few investigations of your own so that you have a clearer picture of his apparent difficulties. Then have a chat with his parents to see if they observe the same 'pattern'. You can all decide together about the best way to help him to move forward. It is unlikely that he is being deliberately clumsy.
To begin with, we would advise you to watch him as he plays. Sit down with a jigsaw or a shape-sorting game and see if he finds these activities more difficult than you would expect in a child of his age. Give his some simple instructions and see how he responds:
- Does he understand words like in, on, behind, in front of? Say things like, 'Would you go and fetch the book that is in front of the television?' Or, 'Please would you be very helpful and get the toy train that is on the table.' Make a note of whether or not he is able to do these tasks easily - or does he get confused or seem to forget the instructions as soon as he sets off to fetch the thing you have asked for?
- When you are playing outside, does he find it unusually difficult to kick or catch a ball? Does he seem ungainly when he runs, and is he unable to jump or hop?
- How does he respond to music - is his dancing always off beat? Does he find it impossible to clap in time to the music?
When you chat with his parents, find out if this child was late with some of the milestones of babyhood:
- Was he slow to learn how to roll over?
- Did he take a long time before he was able to sit up?
- Did he learn to walk later than his peers?
- Now that he is older, does he have trouble dressing himself and seem to need to be taught things that other children learn instinctively?
If your combined answers lead to agreement that he does seem to have some difficulties with motor skills and co-ordination, then you and his parents can start a programme of activities to help him overcome the difficulties he encounters.
More children than we realise struggle to perform age-appropriate skills because their brains find it difficult to choose, plan, sequence and 'do' physical things in an organised way. When the problem is very pronounced it is called motor dyspraxia. Only a very qualified person can make that diagnosis.
Motor planning
Motor planning is the crucial thing that we need to be able to do when we attempt to learn new skills. We have to repeat the sequence of actions over and over again until they become second nature. Most of us will remember occasions when we just couldn't seem to get the order right and doubted that we would ever master a new skill. Learning to drive a car is an example of something that eventually becomes second nature, but only after we've made the same mistakes over and over again and thoroughly exasperated our instructor!
Young children are expected to learn a huge number of new skills in a very short space of time. This boy, and many other children like him, need especially patient instruction if they are to keep up with their peers. There are many things that you can do to help this boy to improve his co-ordination and general motor skills:
- Begin by helping him to do some physical exercises every day. You may well need to be patient and repeat the same sessions over and over again, but it will be worth it. Try to make it fun for you both by teaching him some simple dance routines and showing him how to hop and jump.
- If you have a book of rhymes, you can teach him these and show him how to march in rhythm. Show him how to clap by clapping a very simple rhythm and asking him to copy what you do.
- If you have a big cardboard tube, you can show him how to roll it across the floor.
- You can help him prepare for the rigours of handwriting by buying some big pegs. Playing with pegs is an excellent way to strengthen children's hands. All you need is a box and some pegs. Put the pegs around the edge of the box and then ask him to remove them. Ask him to remove all the red ones, then the green and so on. Or throw a dice and ask him to remove the right number and put them inside the box. Then you can do the game the other way around and ask him to take the right number (or colour) out of the box and fix them on to the edges.
- Patiently teach him ball skills, because these will improve his general co-ordination. You can tie a tea-towel or an apron around his waist and let him use this as a 'catcher' until he becomes better at catching with his hands. Or try throwing a soft ball into a big tub or the laundry basket.
Talk it through
When you are teaching the child new skills, you need to be certain that he is sure about the goal he is trying to reach. Say encouraging things like, 'Let's practise doing up the buttons on Teddy's coat. That will help you to do up the buttons on your coat when you get ready to go home.'
Also, ask him questions so that he learns to think about what he is doing. For instance, when you are getting things ready to play a game you could say, 'What do you need to fetch now? What do you need to do now?'
Model and talk him through the correct sequence of the thing that you are doing by showing him while giving a running commentary, perhaps like this. 'First of all, I'm going to wash my hands. I turn on the tap, then I feel the water to see if it is warm enough. Then I put in the plug like this. See how I do it. Do you want to have a go? Now I get the soap.'
With children like this little boy it is a mistake to assume that he will pick things up just because he is near you. He needs explicit, clear, repeated instruction. And, most importantly, praise him for effort. He's doing his best - even if great results seem frustratingly slow in coming.
Finally, children with this kind of co-ordination problems often tire quickly, so help him in short bursts and allow plenty of time for relaxation. Praise him for each and every small step forward and allow him opportunities to practise each new skill and, hopefully, in time he will begin to feel more confident and co-ordinated.
- If you have a child behaviour query that you would like answered, write to Nursery World, Haymarket Professional Publications, 174 Hammersmith Road, London W6 7JP, or e-mail annette.rawstrone@haymarket.com. All letters will be treated in the strictest confidence but only published questions will be answered.
