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Positive Relationships: Ask the expert ... Separate ways

Upheavals in family life may coincide unhappily with a young child's developmental stages, as Dr Maria Robinson explains.

One of our mums went abroad for specialist medical treatment. While she was away, her daughter, then aged ten months, was looked after by her husband and his parents. The little girl settled fairly easily, as the grandparents are part of the extended family and share the family home. Her mother is now back but after a ten-week separation, the little girl doesn't recognise her mother, which is causing real anxiety. What can we do to help?

Prolonged absences such as these raise several questions. I wonder whether the treatment has caused the mother, first, to change appearance, perhaps through weight loss, and second, to smell differently on the first reunion.

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