A hand to hold

Anyone who works with children may have to face the situation where a child in their care is bereaved. Children have different responses to death, depending on their age and experience.

The under-twos, for instance, have very little language to express their loss, but even very young children and babies are aware that people they were attached to are gone and experience the dawning realisation that they are never coming back.

Children aged two to five years are beginning to grasp that death is final and that the dead person will not return, although this is difficult for them to acknowledge fully as it threatens the security of their safe, familiar world. If it is the death of someone important, they will go through a similar grief process to adults.

The best way you can help is by being prepared to listen to the child's thoughts, beliefs and fears, and by enabling the child to feel that there are adults who are strong enough to bear whatever they wish to talk about. However, you may want to gain further experience in helping children to cope with bereavement by going on a training course or even becoming a volunteer bereavement counsellor.