What is a gifted child?
Like height and weight, intelligence is one of the areas in which most people are fairly average. The further we get away from the average, the more rarely we see people of a particular height, weight or level of intelligence. We describe children as 'gifted' if they are in the top 5 per cent or so of intelligence. This does not mean that they are geniuses, or destined to be the next Einstein, but simply that they are very bright sparks.
How do I know if my child is gifted?
The first thing that parents will notice about gifted children is that they seem different from most others. Some, though not all, will pass milestones more quickly than other children - smiling, talking, sitting up or walking at much younger ages than would normally be expected. Other typical characteristics include a wide vocabulary and general knowledge, asking lots of questions and learning more quickly than others. They may become bored quickly when asked to do more of the same, have a retentive memory and the unusual ability to concentrate early. They will have the ability to argue logically, but also to make original connections. Other characteristics can include a vivid imagination, strong opinions, intense feelings and highly self-critical perfectionism.
How can I support my gifted child at home?
One of the most important gifts that parents can give to a minority child is a place where he feels normal. When a child can see that his parents enjoy his company, delight in his humour, find his questions worthwhile and interesting, believe in his abilities and love him unconditionally, then he will feel much more able to cope outside the home at those times when he feels out of place.
Gifted children seem to have a particular need for firm boundaries. As long as a rule has been explained, they appreciate a strong and simple link between cause and effect: if you behave like this, then that will happen - no matter how cleverly you argue the point or how much of a fuss you create!
This is important for the whole family. Gifted children can exhaust their parents by their demands, questions, arguments and wakefulness. From time to time parents must look after their own needs by saying, 'Enough is enough'.
How can I support my gifted child at nursery?
If a child is having problems, either socially or because she is bored by the activities, then her parents may feel that the staff do not understand her needs. A good starting point for these parents is to ask themselves what it might be like to look after their child in a group. They know what she is like at home, how articulate and knowledgeable she is, and how deeply she thinks about things.
But perhaps at nursery she is so unhappy and overwhelmed that she does not show what she can do. Perhaps her behaviour has deteriorated to the point where it is all that practitioners can see. In this case, it can be useful for parents to explain what their child is like at home, and ask what she is like in a group setting. Then they can ask how they can work together with the nursery to resolve the problem.
Where can I find support for myself?
Gifted children are a minority, and this puts their parents in a minority too. They often feel isolated, as it can be difficult to talk to other parents about what their child is really like, and they may feel that they have to hide her abilities from other people. It is crucial that they find a place where they can be heard, whether that's in the company of a partner, a friend or even a counsellor.
