When I suggested to some that 'mother and toddler' was no longer an appropriate title for a group in an inclusive church (or any other place for that matter), I was encouraged to write an article on the subject.
I realise the reference is not intentionally inflammatory and that some groups are specifically and necessarily 'male' or 'female' only. However, being a man on the committees of a toddler group, a Sunday creche and for a pre-school, I feel the 'mother and toddler' label no longer reflects an accurate picture. These days, raising children is not the sole responsibility of mothers. An increasing number of men, grandparents and childcare professionals are also involved in this important role.
While I am welcomed and encouraged at several groups, I am aware that many fathers will not attend 'mother and toddler' groups because they feel excluded and often ignored.
I am all for equality for women, but shouldn't that work both ways? Men should be included as equals in what used to be seen as 'female' areas.
A group specifically aimed at dads has started in my area and has so far failed to attract many newcomers. Perhaps it just isn't a man's thing to get together and share childcare information, or even just to have a coffee and a bit of a rest.
Personally, I prefer mixed parent groups because, so far, mums have been a great source of useful information for me. Being a new parent can feel isolating, being a full-time dad especially so.
Men still do not enjoy the same level of trust in sharing the care of children (for example, 'I'll look after your children if you'll look after mine'), even among other dads. Unfortunately there appears to be greater suspicion towards men's motives for caring, with females seemingly free from this mistrust. I would love to see a change in this attitude.
