* Awake at 2.30am.
* Put fish ornaments and pictures for project into small sports car. A bit of a tight squeeze in the boot. Then try to get in swordfish - our project fish of the day. It won't fit into the boot. It won't fit in the back seat. I try bending it. It doesn't bend. I open sun roof and poke sword out. The fish rests on the front seat with tail pointing towards the windscreen. Tail appears out of plastic bag and slithers its way wetly up the window. It looks as if I've kidnapped a mermaid!
* Arrive at school 6.30am. It's more difficult to get fish out than in. It looks as if I am carrying a dead body. Misjudge its size as I come through the door and snap off end of the sword, which jams behind the radiator. Try to stick it back on with PVA. Fail!
* How do we keep it cool? Forgot to bring in ice. Fill sandwich bags with water and put in freezer. Tell staff to keep it in the coolest place possible. Decide out of doors is best. Check later on ice. It has poured out of bags and now the freezer is full of ice with the now empty bags stuck in the middle of it and can't be removed.
* How am I going to cut up the swordfish tonight? Ring member of staff with fisherman husband. Please can she bring in sharp gutting knives?
* Carpet where the bright yellow acrylic paint was spilt in a 'Hermit Crab' activity is looking better. Less yellow but still soggy.
* Fit in NVQ assessment of student.
* Eight Year 6 children arrive with a teacher who is the mother of one of our pupils. They are all set to work. All the children are fascinated by the swordfish, with the exception of one Year 6 child who is disgusted by it and says she feels sick.
* Children look into its mouth and empty guts and feel the sword. They are surprised it isn't serrated. We talk about how long an adult swordfish will grow. Children fascinated by its eye. 'It feels like plastic.' * Teacher arrives from another local primary school to observe child. She too is fascinated by the swordfish. I say she can bring a group of children from her school to visit if she wishes.
* Torrential rain all day. Outside work has to be abandoned. The Thames is back on a flood warning. Weather forecast not good for the rest of the week.
* One of the school governors arrives and is set to work hanging fireflies from the black fabric on the hall ceiling. Later in the afternoon they have fallen down. Try safety pins tomorrow.
* Every time I walk into the 'Hermit Crab' room, one of the singing fish is singing. Instead of Baa baa black sheep in future I think we'll get 'Take me to the river'!
* The local paper rings to find out how our Fun Week is progressing. I tell them about the swordfish. They ask if they can come and take a photograph.
* Leave for hospital appointment. Car smells of fish. I smell of fish. Hospital warm. Convinced everyone is sniffing me. Take fireflies to cut out while waiting. I see several people watching me out of the corner of their eye. Only one old lady asks what I'm doing. I say, 'Cutting out fireflies.' 'Oh,' she says.
* Arrive back at school at 4pm. Swordfish has been wrapped and is waiting outside the door. I struggle to get it back into car again! It smells even more fishy.
* I pick up work to take home. (More fireflies!) I deal with essential paperwork.
* I drive to chemist's to get photographs developed in one hour. I keep the windows wide open. The rain comes in through the open sunroof. Arrive smelling of fish, particularly left sleeve of coat that has been next to fish. Before going into shop I stand in the rain hoping the smell will wash off.
* They say the photographs will be ready in an hour but I dare not linger in the shop and sit in car with windows wide open instead.
* Get home and once again have to struggle to get fish out of car! Cat and dog follow me through the house enjoying my new aroma.
* Take knife and saw into utility room and start cutting swordfish into steaks. Partner comes out to see what I'm doing. Goes away in disgust. Take an hour to cut up fish, wrap in cling wrap and put in freezer bags. Freezer now full of fish.
* What do we eat for supper? Partner offers to go out and buy fish and chips! We settle for a takeaway.
* Finish threading fireflies onto cotton.
* Fall into bed at 8.30pm.
