Safe Haven - fearful children

It's easy to feel that children don't worry much. After all, they are spared the usual adult anxieties about paying the mortgage or rent, about jobs, money and relationships. But their worries are very real to them and can easily develop into fear.

There are many common fears in childhood. Perhaps the most alarming are the fears of rejection or abandonment by parents and the fears of being physically harmed by them when they are very angry. Children have a deep sense that their entire well-being and survival depend on their parents' goodwill. Children who feel unloved and resented may build up a sense of insecurity, which shows itself in a general fearfulness. Excessive anxiety will also develop in children who are severely punished or threatened. Parents who say 'I'll beat the living daylights out of you', 'You'll be the death of me', 'I'll leave you at the nursery' or 'I'll get the police to take you away' may know that their threats are not serious  but children under five years old are extremely scared by them. For some of these children, nursery is the only place where they can feel safe. Nursery staff should not always cheerfully assume that all the children are looking forward to Friday evening and the weekend as much as they are.