Three-way talk

Early years practitioners and parents are all adults, but the friendly working relationship that you aim to develop would never start if not for the children. Early years settings strive to maintain positive relationships with parents and other family carers such as grandparents. But is it important never to overlook the very young members of the partnership.

The specialist Elinor Goldschmied described the triangular relationship that needs to develop among an early years practitioner (primarily the key worker), a child's parent(s) and the young child. She chose the image of the triangle deliberately because each part of that shape is equally important and contributes to the strength of the whole. If anybody in the practitioner--parent-child triangle feels anxious, unhappy or under emotional threat, then everyone else will be affected.

When families first make contact with your setting, the parents already have a relationship with their baby or very young child. Parents are making a change in family life to share their child's care with you as an early years practitioner. They are reassured when they can see that the practitioner who will be the key worker wants to make a warm relationship with their child, but will not cut parents out of the circuit. Parents will also feel more able to separate from their young child when they feel that you are ready to give a parent time as a person who matters and not someone who just needs to be got out of the door.

The key worker and other early years practitioners in the room need to form a warm and affectionate relationship with babies and very young children as individuals. The children need to feel secure with you, but they also benefit from seeing that you communicate with their parents in a friendly way. Young children need to see the social connections between their important adults, rather than getting the idea that their lives operate as separate compartments.

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