Men have been attracted to fathers-and-children sessions at a family centre by staff thinking about their particular needs and feelings. Judith Napier hears how they did it
Rob Elkin remembers his first days working at Oxford's Rose Hill and Littlemore Sure Start family centre. 'My job was to try to encourage men in. To start with, there were so few men here that the reaction tended to be, wow, a man! Not any more. Now no-one gives them a second glance.'
His appointment was the result of an increasing awareness at the centre that, while women and children were very regular attenders, men were not catered for, and indeed might feel uncomfortable at encroaching on such female-dominated terrain.
Sure Start co-ordinator Patricia Scott recalls, 'Traditionally, family centres have been very female oriented, staffed mainly by women and tending to attract women and their children, so not necessarily "men-friendly".
'We felt that since a lot more men are caring for children anyway, and given the Government push to get more men into childcare, there was a need for a specialist worker to ensure that men get a look in, and their needs are taken into account.'
Ms Scott stresses that it was not about assuming men's needs could be met by relocating services to pubs and the football pitch. It might be simply a matter of making provision available at evenings or weekends, or providing men-only environments. The challenge was to appreciate men's different needs and aspirations. The centre also worked at attracting more men on to the premises in either paid or voluntary work.
Targeting dads
Rob Elkin joined the team in September 2001. He quickly spotted an easy area for improvement. 'It was obvious that one of the reasons dads were not coming was that the centre was open at times when dads would be at work.'
Rob arranged Saturday morning opening for a 'Saturdads' group. Publicity was essential, and he used plenty of imagination to get his message across. He met fathers through volunteering at a local pre-school, wangled free advertisements on buses whose routes served his target communities, and got a father from his Saturdads group to set up a website.
Saturdads sessions run from 10am to noon on the second Saturday of every month. Fathers and children use the facilities in a newly-equipped playroom and garden, as well as occasionally making organised trips to the zoo, a bird sanctuary, or farms.
At first, uptake was dishearteningly poor. But numbers have risen to an average 15 per session, with a wide racial and age mix. 'Even now I get dads who come in as wallflowers,' says Rob. 'They don't know what is expected of them. But the point is, nothing is expected, and once they see other dads are playing and that no-one is judging them, they relax.'
Time together
Already Rob notices changes in the men who attend. 'I can see men becoming more and more relaxed. They are using emotionally free language, which is something they would not have done before. And they're getting on their hands and knees, making spaceships, using Lego, making daft noises and enjoying themselves.
'I was lucky to have a dad living with me all the time I was at home growing up,' he adds. 'He didn't spend much time talking about emotional things, but he and I did spend a lot of time in his workshop and it was a really positive experience for me.'
Rob was delighted to see last month, for the first time, a grandfather attending with his son and grandson, bringing three generations together.
Eighteen months on, Patricia Scott is convinced of the worth of the project. She says, 'It is about strengthening families and the bottom line for me is that children need fathers. Whether they live at home or not is immaterial, but children need them in their lives and, at a bare minimum, we can provide a venue for dads and children to get together, so that their relationship is as solid as it can be.'
