Nursery World - You really got me

When a certain child particularly irritates you, ask yourself why you feel this way and what the child might be trying to tell you, suggests Andrea Clifford-Poston a group of playworkers running a holiday club were discussing nine-year-old Tom, a polite, well-behaved boy who seemed rather isolated from his peers. 'He's always alongside a group, never in the group,' said one. There was a murmur of agreement and a moment of reflective silence before another burst out, 'Oh, I know it's an awful thing to say, but I'm not surprised. I can't stand that kid, he really gets under my skin.'

a group of playworkers running a holiday club were discussing nine-year-old Tom, a polite, well-behaved boy who seemed rather isolated from his peers. 'He's always alongside a group, never in the group,' said one. There was a murmur of agreement and a moment of reflective silence before another burst out, 'Oh, I know it's an awful thing to say, but I'm not surprised. I can't stand that kid, he really gets under my skin.'

When we choose to work with children, we do so with a degree of pride in our ability to relate to and understand them. We can feel at best disconcerted, and at worst guilty, when we find ourselves irritated by or uninterested in a child. So what do we mean when we say a child 'gets under our skin'?

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