Nursery World - Opinion - Parents have to decide

A father recently e-mailed me asking for advice about the freedoms he should grant to his son. I don't know him, or his son, and don't know anything about where he lives. Which, by the way, is Melbourne, Australia. Why he might think that I would be better placed than him to decide, I have absolutely no idea, and my reply said as much. So what are we to make of the NSPCC and Children's Legal Centre, which last week told parents they should not leave children under the age of 13 home alone?

There are no laws stating minimum ages for leaving childrenunsupervised, as these agencies acknowledge. This is just as it shouldbe. Some 11-year-olds are mature enough to set up in business, whilesome 18-year-olds are barely ready to buy a bus ticket. Our daughter hasoccasionally been left at home for short periods since she was eight. Wetake the view that the risks are minimal, and always talk things throughwith her. She says it makes her feel quite grown up.

The NSPCC and CLC might respond by saying that some parents are confusedand want help. But one-size-fits-all guidance is not just unhelpful, itactually undermines the position of parents. I agree with Frank Furedi,author of Paranoid Parenting, that one of the biggest problems facingparents is a collapse in confidence. They simply have too many peopletelling them how to do their job. While some common sense andreassurance might not go amiss, in the end the 'experts' should behonest enough to tell parents, 'you might not want to hear this, but thefinal decision has to be yours.'

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