Management Queries: Should nurseries lighten duties for staff going through menopause?

Q. A staff member is frequently moody, tired and doesn’t interact with the children, all of which she blames on going through the menopause. I am trying to be supportive and understanding, but how much should we excuse her behaviour or lighten her duties because of it?

Georgia Johnson-Palmer, nursery manager, Jack In The Box Nursery

‘The menopause is becoming less of a taboo topic. A menopause policy should outline the procedures you can follow in the event of team members coming to you with difficulties.

‘It sounds like you are really trying to understand what this staff member is experiencing, while balancing the nursery’s needs. I suggest organising a wellbeing check-in with them to talk through their feelings and unpick what aspects of the day they struggle with.

‘When you meet, some questions to ask are: What do you need? What is making this harder for you? How can we remove or lower some of the hurdles? How can we support you?

‘I try to avoid “false harmony” – not being honest with your team about what is not working, which leads to a dysfunctional team.

‘Be clear in this meeting about your concerns and give the person opportunities to talk about what they find hard. Having open lines of communication and transparency is so important. Once you have identified together what is not working, you can solve the problems. They may benefit from reduced working hours or with a different age group? Does your company have any external counselling services offered as a staff benefit?

‘It can be difficult to make adjustments with the implications they may have. But try to get the team member to focus on what they “can do” and tailor their day around that.’

Nicole de Lima, nursery manager, Old School House Day Nursery

‘In situations like this it is important not to excuse the behaviour. Have a conversation with the staff member. You need to break down the problems and deal with each aspect. Find out what parts of the day she is finding particularly challenging. Is she blaming the menopause for all the behaviour, or is something else bothering her? People do have personal things going on, and we would all like those to be left at the nursery door. But sometimes that is easiersaid than done.

‘Be very clear you want to support her. Say: “We’ve identified you’re struggling/you voiced that you’re struggling, so let’s come up with a plan to move forward”. If she discloses anything that is triggering her, you can try and address that. For example, are the rooms too hot? Could breaks be more flexible? Does she need more snacks and could the setting provide those? Research what happens in the menopause if you are not familiar with the symptoms, and talk to people who have gone through it.

‘It is also helpful in such situations to remind staff why we do what we do. We are here to provide outstanding care for children. Get her to reflect on what that looks like. Outstanding care means being outstanding all the time. You cannot just say “I’m having a tough afternoon so I’m not going to talk to you nicely”. We must put ourselves to the side, and ensure the child is always at the centre.’

Helen Coulson, nursery manager, Nurserytime South Shields

‘Wellbeing is top priority in our nursery. You need to make sure you are doing everything you can to support your staff and they can be a role model to the children. You definitely do not want your staff to be moody and snappy.

‘It is important to understand what this person is going through. I have not experienced the menopause myself, so I would try to find out how it can affect someone, and if there are any reasonable adjustments we could make for them. You might need to do a risk assessment. I would also ask them if they are taking any medication and how this might impact their behaviour.

‘You want to keep staff on-side and make sure they are happy. But at the same time, you have to ensure children have a positive experience. If the behaviour of this person is extreme, you might need to go down the disciplinary route. But before that, you should try to help and signpost them to support.

‘The staff in our setting are mainly coming from college, so we do not have women in the age group for menopause yet. But with a female-dominated workforce, it is something that will come up eventually. We want to ensure we keep hold of long-standing staff members when it does. I see it as like a pregnancy – it is not an illness or a condition but a time when a woman needs extra support.’

Further reading: ‘Managing menopause – On the agenda’ by Caroline Vollans (Nursery World, September 2021)