Grandparents needed!

The ad in the magazine read simply, 'Volunteer grandparents needed for young children'. Already a bit of a grandmother expert, Mrs Tayibat Salu decided to find out more. As she explains, 'When you have a family like mine and you see another, you want to help them. I have 13 grandchildren and I am hoping for more!' she tells me, laughing.

The volunteer grandparent scheme is run by WelCare, a 100-year-old voluntary church organisation operating in south-east London. One of the partners in Aylesbury Plus Sure Start, Southwark WelCare has been running the scheme for nearly two years and has just had funding confirmed for the next two. The premise behind the scheme is a simple one: for older people who have experience with children to visit and support families with young children.

As Sarah Neale from Southwark WelCare explains, the volunteer must be 'someone who can be very realistic about children and not someone who might not understand why a parent might be stressed'. She adds, 'Surprisingly, everyone that's come forward has still been actively involved on a day-to-day basis with their own children or grandchildren.'

Volunteer grandparents need to commit themselves to visiting a family for at least one hour a week for a year. In reality, many of them enjoy it so much they end up giving even more time. Prospective grandparents fill in an application form, are interviewed by WelCare, provide two referees and submit to a police check. Once accepted, volunteers begin a six- week training course, for one evening a week, which includes topics on parenting skills, child development and the role of play for children. After the initial introduction, there is a trial period during which each party can air any concerns. Sarah then meets up with the volunteers regularly to discuss how things are going.

The families taking part in the scheme all live on the Aylesbury estate, one of the largest in Europe. They must have at least one child under the age of four. Families are referred to WelCare via other Sure Start partners, such as health visitors and speech and language therapists.

The majority of mothers in the scheme are single and some have no contact with the father of their children at all. A mother may feel socially isolated and have no extended family to help her. In such situations the benefits of having a volunteer grandparent to visit can be immeasurable.

'Some parents are on their own with the child and perhaps don't have an adult to talk to at all,' says Sarah. 'It can be a big support for them to have someone to chat with, or have someone there to help them play with the child. If you're constantly on your own with a child it can be very difficult to have the energy to play games.'

Mrs Salu has been visiting one mother and her children since April last year. The twins, a boy and a girl, are three years old and their brother is just two. There is an older girl at school, who is 12. On the day I visited, the twins had just got back from morning nursery and were running around the living room. The mother has mobility problems, which means that some days she cannot leave her third-floor flat. She is in no doubt about the benefits of the visits. 'They mean so much,' she says. 'When I'm depressed or in pain Mrs Salu makes me feel so much better; she's good therapy. She's like a proper grandma!' Mrs Salu plays with the children, sometimes cooks for them, and she might take them to the market or the park to play. The children greatly enjoy seeing their 'grandma'. As Mrs Salu tells me, 'When I want to go home, the children lock the door, they don't want me to go!'

* If you live in the London area and would like details about the volunteer grandparent scheme, please contact Sarah Neale on 020 7701 4904. NW