Many useful concepts concerning behaviour in young children begin with a 'C'. Some help to establish pro-social behaviour and others enable effective responses to unwanted behaviour. This article addresses the former and next month we will explore the latter.
Follow these guidelines and you will go a long way towards ensuring that children know what you expect and are supported in their efforts to learn.
Clarity
Before children know what to do, you must know what you want from them. It is easier and less threatening to follow an instruction to do something than to respond positively to a demand to stop what you are doing. Where possible turn your 'don'ts' into 'dos'!
* Instead of saying 'don't run' say 'show me you can walk'.
* Instead of saying 'don't make a mess' say 'keep the water in the sink'.
* Instead of saying 'don't shout' say 'please speak quietly'.
* Instead of saying 'stop pushing' say 'everyone stand still'.
Concise communication
Caring adults often go into detail when explaining to young children what they want and why, and are then surprised and cross when the children do the opposite. Young children have a limited vocabulary and short concentration span and can absorb only so much information at a time. Keep it brief or they are unlikely to understand, let alone remember.
Checking
Once expectations have been made clear, simple questions can help you to find out if the children understand. These remind children of your expectations and enable them to think through what they are doing.
Try open-ended questions such as 'Where should the water stay in water-play?' or, if necessary, closed questions such as 'Should the water be in the sink or on the floor?' If you have time ask, 'Why should the water stay in the sink?'
Consistency
Children who are told one thing one day and another the next get confused.
Different emotional responses to the same behaviour also make it hard for them to know what is wanted.
The most important consistency is that the words and the actions of adults match and that everyone demonstrates the behaviour they want to see. It is crucial that staff discuss expectations and agree what these are and how they will be reinforced. Gentle consistency will promote pro-social behaviour.
Catch the child being 'good'
By the time they arrive at pre-school some children have learnt that the way to get attention is by being difficult. Attention is rewarding and negative attention may be better than none.
To reverse this acknowledge and comment on as many instances of wanted behaviour as possible. This is particularly true of those who are struggling and it helps to be specific. For example, 'I can see that you have all played really well together'; 'It makes me feel so good when you help me like this'; 'You listened really well there - fantastic!'
This strategy, called 'proximity praise' when targeted at someone near the child whose behaviour you want to change, has a ripple effect as others see what is getting attention and start to copy it.
Concepts of competence
Young children's concepts of self are being formed at pre-school age. What is said to them will reinforce a positive or negative view of themselves and they need to hear their qualities described in ways you would like them to develop. Being told they are helpful, friendly, gentle or thoughtful will support the emergence of these qualities. If children are told they are aggressive, naughty or a nuisance, this is how they will regard themselves.
Telling children they can't do something reinforces their inability.
Focusing on what children can do and showing pleasure in their ability provides a foundation on which to build.
Create opportunities
The learning component in behaviour needs to be scaffolded in the same way as other learning experiences. Structure experiences at the right level and with enough support to ensure success:
Francine had been told repeatedly that she was a terrible chatterbox. She was asked if she could show everyone how she could listen to a short story without interrupting. She was placed in front of the group. Smiles and a thumbs up kept her focused. Francine was praised for her success and began to think of herself differently.
When Jordan arrived at the early years centre he enjoyed screaming - both when he was happy and upset. He needed to learn other ways to show his feelings so he was told he had a wonderful voice but that it felt sad when it was hidden by the screamer. When Jordan screamed the staff would ask him where his lovely other voice had gone and if he could find it again. He was encouraged to use words to say what he felt and it wasn't long before his screaming stopped.
Confidence
If we want children to behave in new ways we need to help them develop confidence as well as competence. Making mistakes is part of the learning process and adults who show that they don't always get things right re-inforce safety in trying. Asking children to do something they see as manageable also boosts confidence. Break tasks down into steps and provide positive feedback for each small success, and don't expect perfection too soon.
Change management
Some children are particularly sensitive to moving from one activity to another; stopping what they are doing and starting something else. These transitions may seem insignificant but signalling them in advance helps to reduce unwanted behaviour. For all children, but particularly those with poor language skills, visual warnings can ease negative reactions.
Choices
Giving children choices enables them to take responsibility and inhibits defiance, and simple choices can be very effective.
* Would you like to do this first or that first?
* Can you to do this by yourself or would you like some help?
* Would you like another go on the swings before we leave?
Open choices such as 'What would you like to do now?' may overwhelm children. Limited choices are often easier for them to manage.
Sue Roffey is senior lecturer in educational psychology at the University of Western Sydney and the author of Helping With Behaviour, published by Routledge in association with Nursery World (13.99) Summary
* Be clear about what you want and let the children know in simple, positive terms.
* Be consistent, especially in showing them what this means.
* Give attention to pro-social behaviour and help children to think of themselves as capable.
* Wherever possible, ask questions and give choices. This helps children to internalise pro-social behaviour rather than simply learn to do as they are told.
