Opinion: Letters

Behaviour policy

In response to the subjective article, 'Time outs threaten inclusive practice' (16 October), I have worked in a variety of nurseries as a teacher and an advisory teacher for 16 years. I have fallen victim to young children verbally and physically abusing me and was forced to take time off for stress.

This was not down to lack of support from the senior management team, or due to the child's abusive behaviour (I passionately believe there is always a good reason behind a young person's negative behaviour). The main reason for my stress was the lack of support from the parents and constant denial about their child's behaviour.

Senior management supported me, including maintaining a high adult:child ratio, engaging more support staff for 1:1, releasing me to attend meetings with parents and outside agencies and using significant amounts of the budget to pay for this. But nothing we did seemed to stop the parents continually excusing their child's verbal and physical behaviour.

It horrified me to read the quote from parent Theresa, 'I didn't care about her kicking them, I didn't care about anything apart from getting Siri out of there', and again from Sarah, whose son Nathaniel hurt a child, '...and saw just a nick on his cheek...it wasn't the serious injury they'd said it was.' These reactions are why these children behave that way.

The nursery would not restrain Siri without the safety of the other children being at the heart of their actions. The nursery also had an explicit obligation to Nathaniel's victim to follow a serious course of action. As a parent I would want to know that the school I entrusted my child to had clear sanctions in place for dealing with someone who had hurt my child - it is not up to Nathaniel's mother to decide whether it is a 'nick on the cheek'.

Siri's mother said, 'The nursery manager told me she had to protect her staff from violence. Siri's tiny! All legs and arms...' What is the child learning if violent behaviour is not dealt with? Violence is unacceptable at any age, regardless of what may be happening in the child's life. Adults need to be calm and firm and create acceptable boundaries of behaviour, enabling these young children to express feelings in more acceptable ways. A teacher's role is to create avenues for children to express themselves safely in their own way. In the rare event that this doesn't work, exclusion and united disciplinary action sometimes needs to happen.

On one occasion I followed our robust school behaviour policy, in which exclusion was the serious and final consequence. Exclusion was implemented after a pattern of consistent violent behaviour where every incident was recorded. Strategies were implemented, all in constant consultation with and inclusion of the parent's ideas.

Both Theresa and Sarah, quoted in the article, appreciated some of the nursery's efforts but took issue with the final sanction to exclude their child. Did they consider the school's perspective and the practitioners and children who fell victim to their children's outbursts?

I found, when parents and school staff showed the same discipline and disappointment toward the behaviour, it had an immense positive effect on the child. Theresa's and Sarah's feelings and possible actions toward the school's procedure in front of Siri and Nathaniel doesn't give the children an essential clear message of united boundaries.

In order for an exclusion to be implemented, a school requires a bank of evidence to prove there has been significant observation, consultation with parents, planning for individual needs, use of outside agencies and expertise. But as a final sanction it must be followed through for the safety of the children and the staff. None of the exclusions I have known were ever easy decisions and were only implemented after staff had exhausted every other strategy. In my experience all the exclusions actually brought a positive result for everyone involved.

If aggressive patterns of behaviour are not dealt with early and parents are unwilling to have responsibility for the behaviour, then they are facing a very difficult time throughout their child's schooling and indeed, parenthood.

Deborah Reynolds, early years teacher, London

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