Nursery World - Ask the expert (41)

Child psychologist Jennie Lindon answers your letters about child behaviour Q) We have a little boy, just two-and-a-half years old, in our playgroup, and he really cannot settle although we try to adjust activities for him. We had his older sister at this same age and she was happy. But her brother is very distressed when his mother leaves and nothing we try is making the situation better. His mum is very keen that her son 'starts his early education', but we can't see that being so unhappy can be good for him.

Q) We have a little boy, just two-and-a-half years old, in our playgroup, and he really cannot settle although we try to adjust activities for him. We had his older sister at this same age and she was happy. But her brother is very distressed when his mother leaves and nothing we try is making the situation better. His mum is very keen that her son 'starts his early education', but we can't see that being so unhappy can be good for him.

A) Children cannot learn when they are distressed and there is a risk that this young boy will come to think of any pre-school setting as a source of misery, rather than interest and friendship. It sounds as if you are careful to adjust for your youngest children and, as you say, some two-year-olds are not ready to deal with playgroup. It is not a failure on your part if the usual strategies have not enabled this young child to settle.

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