Q I have a five-year-old son in full-time reception class. He appears to be struggling with his listening skills and sometimes has short concentration. It has reached the point of him not wanting to go to school. He is very distressed about it, which I find very difficult to deal with.
I would like some information on listening skills, ways in which I can help him to be at ease and more confident in himself, and advice on how to encourage him to have a go at things. We have just started swimming lessons to help with his confidence, but I feel he is still not listening to instructions.
A There could be many reasons for your son's difficulties. If the reception class is noisy or the teacher does not get close to children in order to communicate, it is harder for children to listen. If your son does not feel confident in class, he is unlikely to ask the teacher to repeat what he/she said, or ask for further explanation.
It is a serious matter when children are so distressed they wish to avoid school. His teacher should be willing to make adjustments in her/his communication to help your son hear and understand, or to break down tasks into smaller steps. Encourage your son to tell you why he is unhappy at school and what makes a 'good' or 'better' day. You can help, but the school also needs to make adjustments.
It helps if adults say a child's name at the beginning of a request. An absorbed child may not realise they are supposed to listen, until the adult is nearly finished. You can also use light humour: 'Is your listening switch on?' Encourage your son to repeat what you have just asked: 'So you tell me... first you're going to... and thenI' You can do the same sometimes: 'Let's see if I've got it right. You'd like sausages and mash for tea, with yoghurt to follow?' Show him the ways to ask, 'Can you say that again please?' or 'I don't understand what you want me to do.'
Finally, have you had your son's hearing checked recently? You would know if he had significant deafness, but lower levels and variable hearing loss can be missed.
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