Dear hard-working parents,
We’re going to give you a free tank of petrol every month because you need petrol to get to work. It seems only right we should do this for you.
Unfortunately, you won’t be entitled if you earn more than £100,000 (that’s £200,000 per couple), as we can only afford to support those who really need it…
Dear BP, Esso, Shell, Texaco, Tesco, Morrisons, Asda, etc,
We’ve promised a lot of people a free tank of fuel, for which you will be paid 80p per litre, or 75p, 81p, 99p or 52p – this will depend on where you live. Also, there will be two different rates in your area depending on the age of the car being fuelled.
Those who are entitled to our free fuel must receive it free of charge at the point of delivery.
So if you normally charge a higher rate, you cannot ask customers to pay the difference.
However, you may charge for any additional services you choose to offer, perhaps providing gloves, paper towels, hand-written calligraphic receipts, washing windscreens, tyre-polishing and such like.
Customers must be able to opt out of these extra services if they wish and you must not charge a higher rate for these services to those who are receiving free fuel than to those who pay for non-funded fuel. You will comply with all our rules, which may be slightly different from county to county. And we might change those rules from time to time.
We know you’re just as excited about the scheme as we are, so you’ll be delighted to know that from September we’re expanding the offer to allow some people two tanks of fuel! Isn’t that generous of us?’ We’ve worked out some figures so you’ll soon be able to find out how much you’ll get paid from September as it might not be 80p any more (or 75p, 81p, etc.) People who are entitled to two tanks will be given a code, so just make sure you get the code and it’s checked so you don’t give two tanks to those entitled to only one.
By the way, customers will be allowed to fill up part tanks at different garages.
You agree that if you’re ever overpaid, you will pay it back; for example, if a customer has over-claimed their fuel entitlement. There’ll be a grace period in case anyone’s circumstances change between the first and second tank.
But don’t worry about all that for now! Do tell everyone how keen you are to offer free fuel and it’ll all work out in the end. Don’t miss out! Remember, if you don’t offer our free fuel, your competitors will and you won’t have any customers left probably.
Sue Barrett, Sue’s Childminding
