Use these tips as a starting point to ensure you convey the right message to parents and carers (see also Nursery World, 22 November 2001, p23).
1 Non-verbal communication Non-verbal communication covers the way we communicate without using words, and includes gestures, facial expressions, posture and eye contact, even tone of voice or use of silence. We don't always appreciate the unconscious messages we are sending. Ensure your verbal and non-verbal communication is positive with customers even when you don't feel like it.
2 Body language Body language is often difficult to read, but it can either match our words or give a very different message by betraying our true feelings. Gestures have different possible interpretations, for example:
* Slumping slightly - lack of confidence
* Body turned away - rejection of what is being said
* Hand on chin - unspoken questions
* Crossed legs or arms - defensiveness or negative views
* Leaning forward - agreement.
Hands also reveal a lot. Tightly closed hands can indicate tension, relaxed hands confidence, while fiddling indicates lack of attention or nervousness. Note that people from different cultures use body language in different ways, so check their meanings.
3 Facial expressions These can exert great effect on other people. For example, amused expressions can make another person feel humiliated.
* Avoiding eye contact can indicate discomfort or evasiveness, or even lying.
* Prolonged eye contact or rolling the eyes may be regarded as hostile.
* Frowning can indicate concentration or criticism, so look for other signals to confirm the person's true feeling.
4 Tone of voice and silence The most conciliatory words can change their meaning if said aggressively. Equally, silence speaks volumes. Avoid both when dealing with customers. Train staff to know how to respond in difficult situations.
5 Mirroring When we agree with someone we often, quite unconsciously, mirror their movements, such as speaking at the same speed. This encourages good communication. However, when we disagree we may do the opposite, speaking more quickly, and this can become a barrier. A customer changing posture or avoiding eye contact may indicate a need to change your method of communication. Mirroring the customer and slowly changing to a positive stance may encourage them to become more positive.
6 Personal space Don't invade customers' personal space or most will feel uncomfortable, though people from some cultures are happier with less space. Sometimes moving towards the person can signal your attempt to control the situation. Standing when the other person is sitting also feels like an attempt to dominate.
7 Physical contact Don't use touch as a method of communication with customers. Touchy-feely people have to be careful not to overstep the mark. Shaking hands is an acceptable form of greeting and departure.
8 Information overload It is hard for people to take on board a great deal of information if is only communicated verbally, and they may appear bored or hostile as a result. Give the information several times in different ways, such as words or activities to back up the message.
9 Negotiating Negotiating means reaching an agreement through bargaining. Negotiations can be formal, say, over pay, or informal, like deciding who tidies up. Many people use non-verbal communication to great effect when negotiating what they want and indicating when they are willing to compromise. Don't be intimidated. When negotiating with customers, be as positive as possible but hold your ground where necessary.
10 Hostile communications When dealing with customers or staff, try to build a baseline of communication, then establish the problem. Listen carefully and acknowledge what they are saying, ask questions, reflect back to check your accuracy, but don't take the blame. For example, Mrs X is angry because she has not got a full-time place for her child. Don't apologise for a situation over which you have no control, ensure your body language is positive and use sentences like 'I understand it must be very frustrating...' rather than 'I am really sorry we can't help'.
