Developing children's self-esteem is a vital task of the role of early years practitioners. Self-esteem ranks among the most important aspects of children's social-cognitive development. It is 'an aspect of self-concept that involves judgements about one's own worth and the feelings associated with those judgements' (LEBerk, Child Development, 1994, p440).
The acquisition of self-esteem is our growing sense of importance in the world around us. Some people mistakenly believe that this is about having indiscriminate high regard for oneself and that this can be achieved through constant praise. In fact, this approach 'is more likely to feed children's self-preoccupation and narcissism than to help them form a genuine sense of their own worth' (Docking, 1980, in R Roberts, Self-Esteem and Early Learning, 2002).
Branching out
At the stage when children start to belong to groups outside the family, such as a nursery, research has shown that children remember experiences of rejection by their peers and teachers with painful clarity (V Paley, 1992, in R Roberts, 2002). 'How babies and young children learn to see themselves is significantly affected by their growing knowledge of how to be acceptable to us' (R Roberts, p16).
The sort of acceptance babies and young children need is acceptance that is independent of their behaviour; it is acceptance of the child without reservations or judgements. Psychologist Carl Rogers described it as 'unconditional positive regard'. This does not mean that a parent or carer must suspend all judgements about the actions of the baby or child in question, it is simply that the unconditional acceptance of the child himself is not threatened by these judgements.
In practice, we as early years educators must address behaviours by talking about the acceptability of the behaviour itself, not the child (R Roberts, 2002).
Children need to be raised with warmth and encouragement, as well as clear boundaries and reasonable expectations. In this way they learn that they are loved and accepted for who they are. Repeated negative evaluations even from their peers, for example, 'Mark is a naughty boy', can damage a child's self-esteem. Similarly, highly coercive parenting communicates to the child a sense that they are not good enough.
Part of having a healthy self-image is being able to recognise your weaknesses as well as your strengths. To do this you have to be quite a resilient person so that errors you may make do not devastate you.
Cause for concern
Annie, a four-year-old child in a maintained nursery centre, was causing practitioners concern. She was extremely shy and withdrawn and very reluctant to approach other children. She was generally found to be alone, looking at a book or sitting in the home corner. She found circle time very difficult and always took the opportunity to 'pass' when it was her turn to contribute or choose a song. She often refused to participate in an unfamiliar activity, saying, 'I can't do it' or 'I don't know how to do that'. Her body language and facial expression revealed the tension she felt when attention was drawn to her.
During parent and keyworker discussions Annie's mum recognised she had been neglecting Annie's emotional needs. Annie's younger sister had cystic fibrosis and needed a great deal of time and attention at home.
Consequently, Annie had taken a very long time to participate at her playgroup and was very shy at home.
A team member observed Annie's interactions and fed back to practitioners, who decided that it was important to make Annie feel a sense of belonging to and being valued by the group. Opportunities for evoking a sense of well-being and worth in young children can be found in simple daily practices. For example, ensure that no child enters the setting without recognition through greeting, or an acknowledgement to the group of their absence when they are away.
A small group of children, including Annie, made a 'friendship tree' with photos of all the children in the class. The tree was referred to regularly so that children quickly learned each other's names and recognised when they were not at nursery that day.
Praise in front of the whole group made Annie feel extremely uncomfortable and she would hide her eyes, so practitioners began by praising her quietly, on a one-to-one basis, or in front of just a couple of other children. Smiles and thumbs up are a discreet way of recognising achievement.
When trying something new with Annie practitioners were advised to adopt a teaching structure of:
* Watch me
* Do it with me
* Do it while I watch you
* Do it alone.
This was taken from a framework outlined in Intervening Early by Nicky Hutchinson and Hilary Smith (2004).
All the children were encouraged to think of achievement in stages: first go, second go and so on. Praise was given for having more than one go and it was made explicit that some tasks take more than one go to complete. It was important for the adults to talk of their own mistakes and to model their coping strategies when things went wrong.
Over-protecting children can lead them to be fearful and prevent the development of self-reliance. Exposure to manageable tasks and opportunities to succeed in valued tasks can promote self-esteem and self-efficacy (T Newman and S Blackburn, Transitions in the lives of children and young people: resilience factors, 2002).
Smaller groups of six or seven children were used at circle time instead of the whole class, so Annie became more comfortable choosing a song or joining in an activity. Puppets were used to talk about the feelings evoked when we engage in a task and it doesn't go as expected. Visual prompts such as colours, pictures and symbols, alongside role play, were used to explain possible feelings of embarrassment, disappointment and anger without drawing attention to Annie in any way.
Even though at first Annie didn't want to participate, she did watch the other children and listen to the practitioner modelling the language and behaviour she would need in those situations. Gradually Annie's confidence and self-esteem started to grow. It was noticeable how her deportment changed to be more upright, reflecting her new-found confidence. When it came to her turn to be singled out for praise through the 'Star of the Day'
badge from the practitioner, she wore it proudly in front of all the children.
At home
Annie's achievements were shared with her mum to encourage this new-found confidence beyond the nursery. Annie was encouraged to make an 'All About Me' book with her mum to share with the keyworker.
Annie certainly found attendance at nursery a challenging experience. But it would have been wrong to have shielded her from all those challenging situations she was to meet. With the help of practitioners, children can learn that they are competent beings through triumphing over difficulties.
Self-esteem is a crucial factor in the promotion of resilience. 'Resilient children are better equipped to resist stress and adversity, cope with change and uncertainty, and to recover faster and more completely from traumatic events or episodes' (Newman and Blackburn, 2002). What better attribute can we encourage in our children in an often unpredictable world?.
Further information
* Camden Early Years Intervention Team was established in 1998. The team includes two teachers, an educational psychologist, a speech and language therapist and an area special educational needs co-ordinator, offering a service to all early years settings in Camden EYDCP, London.
Unfortunately, the team cannot enter into personal communication with readers, but letters for publication in Nursery World can be sent to the address on page 3.
