In a nursery setting there are many instances when staff need to give feedback to each other or to other professionals and parents, but doing this in a constructive manner is not always easy.
Giving feedback requires good interpersonal skills and emotional sensitivity. Receiving feedback can also be a problem. When it is critical, even if it is meant to be constructive, it is hard for the receiver not to feel discomfort.
There are also some people who find it difficult to receive praise.
Techniques and tools can be learned to make the feedback process easier. The following activities can be followed during professional development sessions in your setting to help staff hone their feedback skills.
Giving feedback
Preparation: Fix two sheets of A3 paper to the wall or divide a white board into two columns headed 'criticism' and 'feedback'.
Start by discussing what feedback is for - that it should be used to improve a situation, rather than criticise someone. Then have a few minutes of brainstorming the difference between criticism and feedback and how each one can make us feel.
Under the 'criticism' heading you could record negative emotions including 'made me feel small', 'I didn't understand the problem' or 'personally insulting'.
Feedback, on the other hand, should be generally positive, such as, 'I understood the situation' or 'it made sense to start doing it differently'.
Discuss how to approach giving clear feedback:
- The nature of a problem needs to be properly explained for it to be dealt with successfully. Skirting around the real issue in an attempt to avoid bad feeling can result in confusion.
- Ensure you are precise and have evidence of what occurred. This helps focus on the issue, rather than the individual.
- Feedback should be given privately and as soon as possible after the event.
- Feedback also needs to be given on events that have gone well - staff need to know what worked in order to repeat and build on success.
- A useful technique is to ask the person how they think a problem might be solved, and then build on their response. It helps them to acknowledge the need for a change and gives them some ownership of the solution.
The 'feedback sandwich' is a useful format for giving feedback. It is based on the fact that everyone needs to feel valued for something, and, whatever the difficulty, everyone needs to know there is a way forward:
1. Say something positive about the person's performance
2. Tell them where things are not right
3. Show them a way forward.
Finally, it is important to consider how to turn potentially aggressive ways of expressing a problem into more acceptable versions. If you get worked up, it is easy for accusations to start flying, such as 'You don't listen to me'.
Starting the comment with 'You' tends to make it seem aggressive. So prepare a list of phrases such as, 'You are in my way' or 'You don't listen to me' and discuss ways of rephrasing them - for example, 'I'd like to get past' or 'Could you lower your voice'.
Meeting up
The principles of giving feedback are useful in handling situations where it is necessary to discuss how things have gone and how you want to move forward. It might be a job performance review with your line manager, a key worker meeting with a parent, a social work case conference or a team meeting with colleagues.
It is useful to hold a discussion with your staff about how these meetings can be arranged:
This isn't always easy in a nursery, as the only separate room available might be the manager's office and it may be too small. If this is the case, you might prefer to hold the meeting elsewhere or after work.
Then, you can all explore why it is sometimes difficult to give truthful feedback to a colleague. Comments may include the fear of being badly treated as a result, concern that they would not be listened to and worry that their point of view would not be considered seriously. Remember that parents may have exactly the same worries about when they talk to nursery staff.
Confidentiality is a prerequisite in such a situation, and good listening skills will go a long way to convince the speaker that they will be listened to with respect.
Ask the group to describe situations where they felt they were not being listened to (make it clear that you are interested in how the listener behaved, not the details of who was involved or the issue). Scenarios may include: 'He's reading the paper at the same time as I'm trying to talk to him', 'She doesn't reply, or just says OK and I know she hasn't been listening', or 'She finishes off my sentences for me and that's so annoying'.
Listening skills are under-rated in many workplaces. They are worth practising, because they will make matters easier in any situation where relationships are involved - professional and private. The important points to remember are:
- Pay attention (stop what you are doing, concentrate on the speaker, use good body language)
- Don't interrupt, but do show that you are listening by nodding, agreeing or asking to clarify a point
- Invite contributions from the other person and be open-minded about considering what they suggest.
Finally, decide how you will end the meeting. If you are trying to build on success or to change a situation, you need to set targets. Think 'SMART' to make targets work:
Specific - What are the goals? (be precise and don't set too many)
Measurable - How will you know when you have achieved success?
Achievable - Is this something you can realistically do?
Resourced - Have you got the resources necessary? (time, staff, money, equipment)
Time-bound - By when will you have done it? (not too long-term)
These targets can then be discussed at a follow-up meeting.
